Dear Bruce, How do I find the Holiday of the Soul?

30. November 2007 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

You previously wrote about the “Holiday of the Soul” in reference to C.S. Lewis’ quote. I think a lot about this, and continually wonder about how to get there living in the culture we live in. If I am to go on the Holiday by the Sea, how do I get from this island of
isolation I seem to find myself in, to the shore? Is there a bridge? You say it is to be authentic and share my heart. In my experience that isn’t enough. The world is full of predators that will snatch it from you so fast and try to mislead you, never mind your good intentions. Who will honor it? Who will be good and respectful and kind in response? Who can you trust? It must be some wonderful combination of authenticity and
boundaries and discernment, I guess. I want the holiday you write about as it relates to relationships, sex, marriage, and life in general. But isn’t enough to want to do the right thing, it seems to me. The wrong thing seems to happen anyway. I desire the “holiday of the soul” with all my heart, but my past, my experience, and my fears, cause me to doubt I will ever find it? At times I just want to say, “Forget it, I will do life alone”. I guess I don’t trust people, or myself, if I am honest. Do I just say, “To heck with it”, and plead grace when I mess up, or do I jump through all the spiritual rules and hoops the church gives me in order to earn the holiday? Is it all rules? Is it no rules? What?

Sincerely,

Elfie

Elfie,

I am convinced, perhaps naive, enough to believe that to the degree one is at rest in their relationship with God, and therefore at rest in their own skin, this “security” dictates the level of spiritual, emotional, and relational health with regard to the issues you bring up. This reality, I believe, applies to sex, relationships, integrity, and life in general. It comes down to knowing who you are/are not in relation to God and others.

The starting point is Isa. 6. Isaiah’s vision captures the essence of the whole deal (life before God, which includes relationships). In seeing God as He really is (Holy…tons of implications here), we see ourselves as we really are (uh, less than holy…again, lots of implications), we are undone (a tangible emotional, psychological, spiritual…and therefore relational awakening), fall on our face, and amazingly we find that God reaches down in grace, touches us, forgives us, redefines us, picks us up, places us in relationship to Him, and then fundamentally calls us to be in relationship with others. The catch is, at this moment all other relationships are redefined by our relationship with Him.

So, no matter who or what or where you are in life, the deal is the same…now relationships are defined as we live and move and have our being in Him, and we just know that relating to others means, compels us to look upon and live with others as He does.

No, indeed, rules never do it…that is the older brother syndrome…but neither does a “liberal” approach to sin/morality. We walk as He calls us because we walk, live, act before an audience of One. Who or what can even come close to offering me what the Lover of my soul can offer me? Really, no one, no thing.

So, the answer is not a fear of relating to or an abandoning of relationships completely, but rather a proper relating to others, even broken others. By God’s grace, and though tempted at times, this is what enables us to live the kind of life we are called to though greatly tempted to settle for mud pies as C.S. Lewis describes it. Why? No person or pleasure would ever be able to restore to me what would be snatched away in that moment of sin.

Make it your purpose to live as Christ calls you to live in each situation and though tempted to jump or abandon ship, you will find He gives the ability to moderate each challenge effectively.

Really, its about the Kingdom of God, living as though we truly are the City on a Hill. Forget them both (rule keeping and a liberal view of sin), neither hit the mark of the Holiday.

With regard to trust and protection. We know human nature and depravity. Yeah, not many, actually none, including yourself, can be always and completely trusted. Trust, all our trust is in His way being THE WAY. We can only trust that He has our best in mind, and then try to live trustworthy lives ourselves. Then as we fail, we don’t blame Him, we recognize we live up to our untrustworthiness and that He is faithful even when we are faithless. He forgives, restores, and gives us a restart. That is the message of the gospel. Its not about Christian perfection. Thank God. The tension between what He offers us and what we experience must be held and accepted, even as we draw a little closer to that place we seek every day. There in lies the drama, the life, the passion and purpose.

All this drams makes the game worth playing. But the game only unfolds within the lines He has drawn. In sport and in life the boundaries must be in place for the game to even make sense. Step outside the lines and bad things happen. Inside the boundaries of His plan and grace the excitement is found.

Keep at it, knowing Him, and pressing on toward the holiday,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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