27. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

My life feels out of control. It seems like no matter what I do I am not making any progress. My relationships, my work, …nothing seems to be where I want it. I have always admired those who seemed to have their lives in order, and I have always tried to be one of those people. I just cannot seem to get there.

You often write about living life to the full and finding the life you were meant to live, and I want that. I just am not sure I can make that happen. How do I live the kind of life I want? How do I get things under control? How do I make progress?

Everyone around me thinks I must have a great life. I grew up in a wealthy family, went to great schools, drive a fancy car, …but really, I know deep inside that my life is very much out of alignment. My job, which “looks good” on the outside, provides no joy for me, and I continually question what the point it. Is it enough just to make a good living while I waste away emotionally and relationally?

Any insight you could give would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Maria

Maria,

Thanks for your heartfelt question, openness and honesty. In our society there are not many who are willing, sadly, to actually look beyond the exterior to find answers to the questions you raise. Too often we make the assumption of others, “If it looks so good on the outside, it must really be good.” As you have pointed out, this is not the case. Further, we often buy into the falsehood that the best we can hope to do is to keep up with or surpass the Jones’. The good news is that life is more than that, it can be so much more than that. It’s not a simple equation, but I hope I can shed some light and hope on your situation.

First, let me encourage you to continue asking the questions and to remain honest with yourself and others about where you are. The more you evaluate and wrestle with this the more likely you are to get where you are meant to be…and sooner. Keep at it!

For starters, I would like to encourage you to remember (and you seem aware of this) that your worth depends not upon the size of your bank account, your professional title, or your family name. All of that is tinsel at best, and can be gone in a moment. Just as in the game of Monopoly, when the game of life is over, it all goes back in the box. When you come to that moment when your last breath is upon you, it will be clear that you cannot take any of the toys with you and the only thing that matters it the legacy you leave behind. That legacy is not the stuff you leave, rather, it is the person you were and the lives you touched, those you bettered.

Let me also encourage you to remember that the sense of “control” is an illusion. While at times we look at others and think, “They really have it together.”, in reality, none of us actually has mastery over our lives. Even the most hard charging, organized, successful, and focused of people do not have it all figured out. In fact, as many studies and as practical life demonstrates, a large number of super-focused people are quite insecure and are attempting to charge through life in an attempt to validate themselves in the eyes of someone else. Such an approach leads to extreme forms of emotional fragility, and often leads to very tumultuous relationships. The appearance of control is often a mirage. Many at the top of the “ladder” are very lonely, hardened, and calloused people. Many who have climbed their way up, though having vaults full of money and garages overflowing with toys, are bankrupt of soul.

Also, control, in the ultimate sense is not at all in our hands. Who among us can control whether or not we are stricken with cancer? There are many tales of those who lived right, ate right, and exercised right, and yet, came down with a terminal case. Bad things happen, even to good people. Likewise, super-hero or not, all among us, regardless of success, are a heartbeat or breath away from death. Tim Russert, the well respected journalist, is a case in point. It can happen in an instant. Our jobs, cars, homes, families, and bank accounts are no match for Death. When he comes we find ourselves incapable of withstanding the blow.

Now let’s get practical, and a bit theological. The sense of “control” you speak about, I believe, is more a quest to find “what” you are supposed to be about. For those who do not find their compass in God’s call for them, there always remains a sense that something is out of place, missing. So, I would suggest to you that you be aware that it is a “place” you are looking for and not control over life as you are now living it. As I have said many times, and as Augustine penned many years ago, we will never find that place until we find ourselves in Him. Augustine suggested, “We shall find no rest until our hearts rest in thee, O God.”

In coming to God as we are and in offering Him the controls of our lives we find our purpose and place. When we allow Him to define the particulars in our lives, who we love, how we love, the work we do, the things we aspire to, …life seems to make sense. Life never feels as if we have it all figured out, and we certainly never get to a place where we have it all under our control. In coming to God for our place, we come to see that control is in His hands. His control may take us through many a tumultuous season for a bigger purpose, in fact. His control is for the good of the world, not our cravings. And His control is above and beyond our planning abilities. His control redefines how we view life, and how we view ourselves.

Control, as you speak of it, is a spiritual reality in God’s economy. There are indeed things we can do to be responsible, to move ahead, and to forge a more deliberate life. Yet, if these things are pursued apart from our place in Him, we will remain uneasy. As many a headline has revealed, all the accolades, power, position, and riches in the world cannot replace what we find only in a relationship with God, through Jesus Christ.

Find your place in Him, and allow Him to direct the remainder of your days. He may bring you to a new career, a new strategy for relating to others, new patterns of behavior, or any number of new things. What you can be assured of is that He who makes all things new can and will birth a new hope in you for the future. He may bring you to increasing levels of professional focus, or He may pull you out of your current environment all together. He may bring you to ever increasing riches or He may lead you to a place of lesser means. He may keep you where you are or He may take you to a new land. Many a great story and triumph have begun where an individual traded  personal “trophies” and personal comfort for a divine adventure.  Wherever the compass may point, the important thing is not your control over the details, but His place in your heart. From that place all direction and ultimate purpose come forth.

You are asking for greater control, but I humbly submit that what you are craving is a more sure sense of place. That place we all crave is actually a person, Jesus Christ. This was the reality that C.S. Lewis came to embrace as God was calling Lewis to Himself. He wrote, “I thought I was coming to a place (religion, moral insight), but what I found is that I was coming to a person.”

God is in control. We are not. He is the place our hearts long for. Start there, and the journey begins.

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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26. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

Readers,

Many of your are familiar with Bruce’s entry in the recently published One Year Life Verse (edited by Jay Payleitner, Tyndale Publishers).  Bruce, as well as many other known figures and writers, is included in the book, and submitted an essay which tells of  his “life verse”, the one central verse which is significant to his life and purpose.

You can get the book through local bookstores or go to Bruce’s websites in the next couple of weeks and get copies there.  The book is a great daily help and a terrific gift idea.

Continue to follow Bruce’s radio show at www.wgso.com (click on the Think Out Loud podcast links).

Grace and Peace,

optimuslife.org

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25. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

Can I get a break?!!

If you have ever voiced that thought or said it to yourself, then you are aware that life can, at times, feel a bit overwhelming.  If you have been through “it” then you know that there are moments when we tend to wonder if we have any hope of making it through.  The parent who has endured years of trial with a struggling teen, the couple afraid to answer the phone for fear of what ominous threat lies on the other end of the call, the businessman struggling to keep his dream alive, …

Life is not always easy, in fact, it rarely is.  But this is what makes life an adventure.  I recently heard or read a sentiment that resonates with me, “If given the choice to feel pain or feel nothing, I’d rather the former”.  Indeed, the stresses of life, the tough spots, the pain, at a minimum, let us know we are alive.

Whether the storm we face is physical, emotional, spiritual, financial or relational (or all the above combined), we yet have hope, breath, life.  Take in each moment of the ordeal, feel and live it as if it is your last, appreciate the ability to feel and experience, and hang on, with white-knuckled grip if need be, as you keep pressing on.  You never know when or how the skies will break or what the view may be like on the other side of the storm.

I was just reminded of this reality yesterday while on a cross town adventure with my kids.  I had worked the first part of the day and had set the afternoon aside to take my kids to a museum forty minutes south.  Along the way we had to drive across the nation’s longest bridge over water, some twenty-four miles.  About two-thirds of the way across we were presented with a great view of the city.  What was so striking about the view on this day, however, was the storm moving in.  From ten miles out we had a bird’s eye look at the size, intensity, and darkness of this storm–and a hint at the unfolding drama.  Continuing to watch as we drove closer it became clear we would soon be driving through some really tough weather.  I began to question if we would indeed make the museum trip a reality as I knew we would have to park blocks away, and we certainly were not going to walk through ankle high water under an intense storm.

Once we got across the bridge and began to make our way through town it was as if the sky were falling.  It was raining buckets, traffic was heavy, the highway was backed up, and so we chose a different route for the adventure.  As “fate” would have it the route we took only added to the stress as we were forced to navigate through streets that were approaching partial flood levels.  With the stress of the drive, the unlikelihood of our trip unfolding, and frustration setting in, I was beginning to wonder why I did not turn around sooner and call it a day.   It was then that the real challenges set in.  The adventure stress meter went up another three levels.

As we were driving through a very crowded street through heavy rain, with the water beginning to accumulate we were being passed by a huge truck on our right.  The water was halfway up the trucks tires and as he went speeding by an enormous wall of water engulfed our vehicle.  We have all seen and been through similar situations before, no doubt.  But what made this one different was the amount, force, and unrelenting nature of this “wave”.  The wall of water fell on us so violently that it made a huge crashing sound even as it pushed the vehicle to the left with a jolt.  To make matters worse, I could not see to my left and did not know if another vehicle was there.  I squeezed the wheel, tried to pull back right, and tried to slow down, thinking, of course, that this would pull me out of the situation.

About that time, as I was thinking we would surely be passed by the truck and the situation would subside, my vehicle started to hydroplane, my stress level went through the roof, and then we were hit with another massive wave of water.  This one was so huge it covered the entire SUV like a Pacific Ocean wave swallowing a surfer.  The wall of water was so thick I could see nothing and do nothing.  I could not see on either side of me, and was just hoping that a massive crash was not about to unfold.  Further, it seemed like this wall of water just would not go away.  Though it was probably only seconds, it seemed like we were submerged for minutes and could do nothing to get away.  All three kids were screaming at the top of their lungs.

It was about this time I felt the adrenaline kick in, the stress peak, and the senses come fully alive.  I thought the guy in the truck must be intentionally trying to stay in just the perfect spot to keep the waves coming.  I began to feel like he was sent to be our undoing this day.  I was growing angry.

And then, just like that, amidst all the screaming, stress, and white-knuckles…it ended.  And I mean it ended.  Not only did the truck disappear, and the waves subside, but the entire storm was gone.  It was the oddest thing.  Just as we broke through the last wall of water it was as if we had journeyed through a secret and invisible passageway to a new world.  As soon as our view returned upon breaking through that last onslaught of fury, I mean in the very moment our front wheels broke out and we could see through the windshield, the entire world looked differently.  We went from a dark, harrowing, and violent ordeal into a world filled with blue skies, sunshine, and dry land in the snap of a finger.  It was strangely fantastic.

As we made it through I turned and looked at my kids who were now laughing and screaming with glee, “That was awesome! Man, did you see that!  We could not see a thing!  I almost opened my window in the middle of that!  That would have been great!”, and said, “Look at the sky!  Its totally clear!  How did that happen?!”  In an instant the world went from chaos to wonderful peace.  A break had finally come.  A break in the weather, the stress, and the sense that we were about to be done in.  Darkness and fury to light and life in a split second.
Here is the message of our adventure.  Amidst the storms of your life appreciate the ability which remains to take it all in.  Ride out the storm with a sense of divine adventure, purpose, and resolve.  As you hold on for dear life remember, you never know when the storm may break.  Even amidst the fury of the blast keep your head, and hang on…you may be about to enter a new world.  Each time we endure another adventure, another struggle, another fight, another soul tsunami, we view the world differently.  There is light at the end of that tunnel.  There is hope to be had.  When your life feels as if it is hydroplaning out of control call on God, embrace the adventure, and expect to be enriched through it all.  Your break may be closer than you think.

All the twists and turns of our lives make life worth the living.  Without the drama we would never appreciate the moments of peace.  As the narrative of your life unfolds take it in, study it, appreciate it, and allow God to make of your story something worth retelling.  Allow His love and light to break through on your journey and in your heart.

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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24. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy.  I awoke and saw that life was service.  I acted and behold, service was joy.”  Rabindranath Tagore (Nobel Laureate, Literature 1913)

That’s a good word for a culture that is largely convinced that our joy lies in acquisition and the pursuit of self-focused pleasure.  Are you in need of a bit more joy today?  You may just find it in serving others.  When was the last time, for the sheer joy of serving, that you served another?  When did you last serve your wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father, neighbor, a stranger, the sick, the poor, the defeated?  Chances are, provided there were no motivations other than to help another, that you saw your joy quotient ramp up a few notches.  That’s because we were meant to live in the joy zone.  That place is located in the heart of service.

Get out and serve someone today.  Open a door, engage a teller, tip a barrista, pray for the ailing, take your kid to dinner, give your spouse a break from the routine, …or help Optimus!

If you need a little help finding your service joy, Optimus is in great need of capital for the summer and fall months.  Funding is well shy of where it could be, and we are praying for some joy seekers!  Help us carry out the goals of Optimus’ servant focused goals as we seek to lead others to the kind of life they were meant to live.  We are hear to equip you and to rally others around the kind of life Jesus (the Servant of servants) offers us in John 10:10 “Life to the Full”.  Help us fulfill this mission.

Please, give TODAY at www.optimuslife.org by clicking on the “donate” tab.

Serving with joy,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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21. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

http://wgso.com/content/blogcategory/9/107/172/

The link above is for the latest “Think Out Loud” radio broadcast with Bruce. Give it a listen!
Bruce interviews compelling guests and wrestles with the big issues. This week: making sense of disaster.

optimuslife.org

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20. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

You write a lot about following God’s purposes for your life, knowing “Him”, and living the kind of life God calls us to live. I am not a spiritual person, and have not really thought a great deal about these kinds of things, and just kinda live life as it comes to me. I try to have fun, live a good life, and try not to intentionally hurt anyone along the way. What is so bad about that? Isn’t that about all we need to do? My philosophy is get a good education, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, take care of your family, and be a good person. Why do we need more than that?

Jim

Jim,

Good question. Your perspective, statistically, is quite a common one. And while it may, at first glance, seem “reasonable” enough, if you really dissect it and think it over, it clearly is not so sound a way of looking at life. I will explain.

First of all, you seem persuaded that you, and perhaps we all, should live life aiming for some sort of “good”, a moral standard if you will. The difficulty in suggesting that people ought to live a “good” life while removing God from the equation is significant. In doing so you have eliminated the standard of measurement for “good”. If no absolute moral standard exists for “goodness” then how are we to truly know what is ultimately and finally good or not? In some cultures they eat their neighbors, in others that is not so “good”. Some people would espouse a “survival of the fittest” approach to life, while you espouse a “do unto others…” approach. Which one is right?

Without a final and authoritative measuring stick for true goodness how do you know, really, when you have done good? Some abandon home and family to pursue their own professional good. Some leave a spouse for a “good” time. The terrorists responsible for 9/11 had been taught all their lives that such an act was a “good” thing. In our eyes it was evil and tragic. Who is right? Who is the final authority on such matters?

More practically, what happens to your approach for those who see education and family fail them? There are many brilliant minds walking our streets homeless. Many a degree goes unused. Many useful and important research degrees don’t pay all that well. Many who once started with a great education and a great job see life fall apart and lose everything. What then? What is left when an education was a person’s salvation and it fails them? What is a person to do when education provides them with access to power, money, and access, and then the access leads them down destructive roads? The tales of such horrors are blasted all over our newspapers and television screens daily. Sometimes the MBA, six figure salary, and acclaim lead people to implode. Many neglect family and ethics for the sake of a pay check.

Finally, I would urge you to consider what is an increasingly mounting problem in our culture. We tend to view success, fame, money, and pleasure as the golden dream. Yet, story after story comes to us from many corners of our culture telling the truth about lives lived for the pursuit of the good life. Money, success, and pleasure are not bad in and of themselves, but when separated from a standard of deeper measurement and meaning, they tend to ruin people or at least leave them utterly unfulfilled. I could document many high profile and many not so high profile accounts of such a reality, but I do not have the space in this setting to do so. Many who have “made their dreams come true” have found those dreams wanting once they are at the top.

One final thought. The one thing I do admire about your outlook is the call to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I would like to remind you, however, that this injunction is borrowed from biblical teaching. You see, for all of us who want to live a good life, we are continually brought back to the reality that some tangible, real, and unique standard of truth exists. In fact, this is the only possible explanation, logically speaking, that gives rise to the human desire to see beauty, truth, and goodness in what is around us. The fact that any of us even catagorize good and bad demonstrates that such realities do exist and do so beyond our own definition of things.

God defines goodness. If you truly desire to live a “good” life, you must know what goodness is in reality. There are six billion people on the planet. How are we to determine what is truly good if each person is given the freedom to construct conflicting views of goodness? There is a standard and it is derived from the One who is ultimately good. Living life to the full comes from knowing Him and walking according to His good plan. The sense of knowing that one is following God’s plan is what holds us together and provides meaning and joy even when all else is falling apart around us. The good life is more than circumstance, and bigger, much bigger, than the American dream.

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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18. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

 John Chrysostom penned the following many many years ago (400s), and the truth remains today.  In a culture where many rely on television sound bites, self-help books, life coaching gurus, and other various forms of “wisdom”, it is a needed reminder of where we must go for true help and insight into our lives.  Prayer, communication with the One who created this world, is the ultimate source of provision for all of our lives.  In our times of need, amidst the battles we face, beneath the pounding and raging of the storms which befall us, …let us not forget prayer.  He is our refuge, our very present help in trouble.  There is no place to turn as sure as this.  He writes,

“The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire; it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, subdued evil instincts, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. Prayer is an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by the clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, and the mother of a thousand blessings.”

Praying,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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16. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

The Call to be Fathers

 Freud, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”

      Jewish Proverb:
When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

       Knights of Pythagoras:  A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.

 The Nearness of Dads

While Freud misses the mark when associating our “need for God” with our broken relationships with earthly fathers, he at least understands the impact fathers have on us.  The absentee father is one of the major weaknesses in the life of families today. 

A dad’s presence speaks nearness and the nearness of God -it brings security stability,    and a sense of love and belonging.  The nearness of God is one of the critical doctrines of scripture and it is to be reflected in our relationships with our family.  He is called “Emmanuel, God with us”.  As dads we need to be present, near.

No amount of money, no title, no honor, no amount of selfish pleasure can replace the joy of being near one’s kids.  We miss so many precious moments in the everyday life of our kids when we are not there.  You cannot write a check big enough to replace the cumulative total of these moments.  They are priceless.  An unexpected smile, a first step, that first real swim stroke, the first base hit, the first service ace!  All of that stuff is too good to miss out on, dads.  And when we are present for those moments we and our kid’s hearts are lifted in ways that words cannot express and success cannot replace.

The idea that fathers fulfill all their duties as long as they are putting a roof over head falls far short of the biblical call.  Fathers are called to be present and to be nurturing.  The tough guy who comes home and expects the kids to be quiet, a meal to be made, and “his” home to be in order is missing what God has designed for the family.  The present nurturing father is the one who will leave a legacy behind.  Fathers have a call to champion the values of tenderness, unconditional love and acceptance for “just showing up”.  We have to be around to champion those values.

 Dads set the tone for the lives of their kids

“It is not who you are underneath that matters, you are defined by what you do”—that’s a quote from the last Batman movie, and there is a great deal of truth in those words.  We are defined in the eyes of our kids by what we do, no what we say.  How we live in front of our kids makes the difference.

Examples of constancy, faithfulness, and excellence give them foundations for the rest of their lives.  Endurance amidst difficulty demonstrates a critical value for the future.  The affirmation of boundaries in a culture that wants to rush through any boundaries that are set by others is central to a life well lived.  We set the tone for this huge value.

Understanding that consequences result from our actions and decisions, and blessing comes from a life lived in devotion to God—these are must haves, and they are passed down from dads.  

Poise

We teach our kids life lessons through our stability.
Strength amidst pressure is a trait our kids see too infrequently in those around them.  The modus operandi is “if the going gets tough…get going”.  We must teach our kids composure amidst turmoil and the will to fight amidst huge odds. Our kids need to learn, early, the value of endurance amidst grief and pain and the value of strategy and thoughtfulness amidst a culture that embraces impulse.  When we hand down the value of poise to our sons and daughters we give them a critical platform for what life is going to bring their way down the road.

 Teaching Fathers

      The knowledge of God is the most important thing we hand down to our kids.  The
knowledge of who He is, His attributes of Grace, compassion, joy, the adventure of faith—these are things which establish our children for life. 

We must teach kids to live under the loving gaze of God…to develop a life lived in His presence, His kind, tender and loving presence.  We must make it clear that our kids are to have one thing as the number one goal, their chief aim–to know God and enjoy Him forever.  The will know our passions as they watch us over the years.  We must teach them the value of rightly placed affections and demonstrate our pursuit of the chief end of man.   We must teach our kids that apart from Him they are nothing, and that in His presence is fullness of joy.

 Leaving the Legacy

      It will all go back in the box at some point.  Just like the game of monopoly, all the houses, cars, toys, trips, all the stuff at the end of the game goes right back in the box.  At the end our lives all but our legacy eventually fades away.  All the stocks, bonds, property and toys we may leave our kids will mean little in comparison to the spiritual legacy we leave when we lead lives devoted to God.  If we have merely taught our kids to collect stuff we missed the mark.  The cravings of our culture will always leave a hunger for more.  They are ultimately unsatisfying.  Only the legacy of a life well lived in front of our kids will teach them to hunger for God.  When that becomes their pursuit the trappings of the world will lose allure.  We must ask ourselves, “What will my kids say about my greatest love, agenda, passions, and pursuits?”  The answer to that question means more than we can imagine.

 Bruce Smith
Optimuslife.org
Please donate at optimuslife.org by hitting the “donate” button

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14. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

http://wgso.com/content/blogsection/9/172/

Folks,

The link above is for the podcast of Bruce’s radio show “Think Out Loud”.  This week Bruce featured two remarkable guests, Steve Siler, an award winning singer-songwriter from Nashville who has written for many household names, and Michael Sprague, a faith leader, national speaker, and pastor.  The discussions focused on how we make sense of life amidst disaster, and how we build a life worth living amidst great challenge.

Give it a listen and send us your feedback.

Optimuslife.org

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13. June 2008 by BruceSmith.

Recently I had the opportunity to watch a film entitled “Then She Found Me”. Those of you who read my blogs and other writings regularly know that I view a good many films. The reasons I do so are many, but I will explain a couple of the more significant reasons. First, I am called to write, speak, and teach others on what it means to live a meaningful, God-focused life. To be able to do that effectively, in my view, one must know “where” others are at. If you are going to lead someone to a desired destination (an awareness of life to the full in my case), you must begin where they are. So, in an attempt to stay aware in terms of where our culture is I watch films which give a good glimpse into that reality.

Second, I believe the arts speak to us on levels which are profound. Music, movies, poetry, painting, sculpture, dance, and many other arts can reach places in the soul that are unreachable otherwise. Therefore, I am fascinated with the God-given gift of the arts.

Third, I believe gifted artists, even those who are not convinced of the Gospel at this point, have yet, as we all do, a spark of God’s intention within them. While we are all far from God’s standard of goodness, are naturally bent toward sinful living, and are without hope while not in Christ, all individuals were created “in His image” and therefore retain a glimpse of the wonder, splendor, and majesty of God’s craftsmanship. We are, indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made. This is important because, by God’s design, all humans, I would suggest, wrestle with the God implanted questions regarding the big issues in life. Why am I here? How do I make sense of my life? What does all of this mean? These and many other questions are asked in the form of the arts by gifted people. On various occasions, even amidst the confusion and mis-guided moral sales pitches which so often come from Hollywood, something profound is offered or hinted at in film. Sometimes the big questions which are there for our culture arise through the art of cinematic theater.

When those questions are presented in vivid and meaningful ways, I believe they are great platforms for launching into spiritual discussions which matter. That brings me to title of today’s blog, “What if God is difficult?”

In the movie, Then She Found Me, this question is offered at a critical life moment. Helen Hunt, a woman who has recently seen her marriage crushed by an affair and her husbands flight for something else, and a woman who has craved the ability to give birth despite years of trying without success, eventually comes to a place of questioning her faith in a good God. In the aftermath of losing the child growing in her womb, watching her marriage dissolve, and amidst further relational turmoil, Helen, once a devout Jew, comes to a place of numbness and hopelessness. In a scene where she has turned to science (fertility treatments, en vitro, etc.) for the help to conceive, and standing with her newly found biological mother, (the less than spiritually sensitive mom who all too often uses God’s name in vain, is played by Bette Midler) she is set to go through the scientific process with little regard or hope in God’s care for her. Midler, the mom, noticing that for the first time since she has “known” her biological daughter, that Helen has not stopped to pray over the procedure, is surprisingly stunned. Standing in the room together as the doctor is about to begin the sensitive procedure Bette brings a halt to the proceedings. Here is how it unfolds:

Bette: Wait. Stop. (She asks the doctor and nurse to leave)

Helen: What are you doing?

Bette: Why are you not praying?

Helen: What do you care?

Bette: I don’t, but you do?

Helen: Its none of your business.

Bette: You pray over everything. You don’t even eat a piece of bread without praying…

Helen: Not anymore

Bette: Why?

Helen: (with tears in her eyes and a keen sense of hopelessness and despair on her face)…

I had faith. I believed. I believed in a loving God. What kind of loving God…

Bette: What if God is difficult?

The significance of this scene, and the message involved, is in my view profound. In fact, as I sat there with tears in my eyes, and as the movie wrapped up just several minutes later, not a sound could be heard in the entire theater. No one moved a muscle until well after the credits were over. It was clear that everyone could relate. I think we were all replaying our own tapes which record unfulfilled dreams and huge disappointments and making an attempt to put the pieces of the plot in our lives together.

Have you ever asked hard questions of God, of life? If so, you know the pain of which Helen’s character speaks. This woman, a teacher, in love with kids, was absolutely hungry for children. She wanted to love and nurture and care for a child of her own. Yet, despite all efforts, that gift was seemingly denied. Over the years, she could not accept the advice of others, to adopt, as something remotely appealing. In her mind, “It just is not the same”. Though many encouraged her that it, indeed, could be the same, Helen could not accept this idea. For her the dream was a child of her own, from her own womb, or none at all. Her fulfillment, largely speaking, had become dependent upon that dream being fulfilled in the way she imagined it. There was no other way.

In the closing moments of the film the overarching moral of the story is unveiled. It becomes apparent that the attempt to fertilize did not work out, and Helen, amidst her new life, with her new love, (a man who saw his wife run out on him and was left to parent two kids alone) is shown some time later interacting with her new family. As the camera follows her she comes upon her new husband (Colin Firth) who is in the back yard staring in wonderment at something not yet revealed. As he senses Helen approaching he lifts his gaze long enough to meet Helen’s eyes. Softly, soberly, with a sense of contentment, Helen looks back at him and simply says, “I know”.

At this point in the movie the viewer is not yet clued in on what is happening, and it appears that, perhaps, they are gazing into the distance at a sunset or landscape. The last look we had was that of Helen in the doctors office attempting en vitro, and the conclusion is never offered.

Then, as the movie is closing, just after this shot with Helen and her husband, the camera pans back and a little Chinese girl comes running around the corner, cute as she can be. It is only then that the viewer is clued in on the fact that Helen, amidst the broken dreams for her own womb giving life, has taken the advice of others and adopted a child. As the movie closes one is left with the sense that Helen has come to embrace a sweet blessing, a new look at parenthood, and a new start. Amidst life’s challenges physically, relationally, emotionally, and spiritually, Helen has come to a place of peace. Though the script is not as she would have drafted it, amidst the love of a new romance, a budding relationship with her newly found biological mother, and children to love, Helen’s sense of love, life, and faith is being enlarged. God may be difficult, His dreams may go beyond our own, but it is worth accepting and pursuing.

And so, here is the deal. As is the case for Helen, and as was the case for all the heroes of faith portrayed in scripture, so it is with us. A man lays out his plans, but his steps are ordered by the Lord. We all have dreams upon which we believe our ultimate contentment depends. We all have desires and goals which we “know” are best for us, and for the rest of the world. We all want certain things. The difficulty with God is, He sees all and knows all. What if God is difficult in that He does not draw up the script as we want Him to? What if God is difficult in that He often takes us places we would not have foreseen? What if God is difficult in that His love for us is so far beyond our comprehension that we cannot begin to imagine the fulfillment offered to us in the script He drafts for us?

I had the dream of playing Division 1 college tennis. That dream was killed, abruptly, by a back injury at the worst possible time. I had the dream of being 6′2…uh, that never happened. I had the dream of leading a thriving church by the age of 30. Again, nope. I had the dream of seeing my step-father being healed from cancer. He died at 27 years of age. I have had the dream of seeing my back healed once and for all. Not yet. I had the dream of seeing my first book, Soul Storm, highly endorsed I might add, become a best-seller. Last time I checked it was more than a bit shy of that mark. These dreams and many others have not come to fruition in my life. Yet, I can look at what God has given in place of these scripts I conjured up, and I realize how much of the sweetness of His grace I would have missed had these dreams come true. I have seen the splendor of His grace in my life in spite of these desires not being fulfilled. For each “no” more love and grace has been provided, and other amazing experiences and opportunities have been given. Notice, none of these dreams are bad in and of themselves. Yet, they were not, apparently, the dreams God had in mind for me. Or perhaps, unknown to me, they could have resulted in my moral, spiritual, emotional or relational demise. Who knows? God knows, and that’s the point.

When we come to that place in life, like Helen, where we question the goodness and provision of God, we need only remember the story of Abraham, and God’s call for him to walk his son toward what seemed like a sure death. Not only was it the death of a son that was looming, but also the death of a nation, as God had promised that through this son a nation would come. That test of Abraham has now encouraged the faith of countless believers for centuries. The test became a blessing. God knew the final scene, but withheld it from Abraham. Now, the entire world sees it in full view, and the world is a better place as a result.

In those moments of questioning we can also look to the life of Joseph. Remember his story? A favorite son with great potential who was given dreams, big dreams, literal dreams, by God Himself. His path to “success” certainly did not develop as he would have drawn it up. As a teen he was hated by his brothers, beaten, and left to die. Then, to serve their own purposes, the brothers altered the plan and rather than killing him sold him into slavery. Nice. What compassion. From there his life script did not get too much better. Along the way he was lied about, forgotten about, imprisoned, and slandered. Not exactly the fast track to one’s life purpose, right? All this while remaining the person God called Him to be morally and spiritually speaking. Isn’t all the good stuff supposed to come to those living a Godly life? Not in Joseph’s case, or Job’s, or Jeremiah’s, or…

In the end, however, we know that Joseph was eventually to become second in command of an entire nation, was reunited with his family, and he spared untold numbers from famine. He was a national hero! Above all, he has become a compelling picture of the providence of God, one of the most significant in all of history. Again, the Divine Director knew the story’s ending, but Joseph did not. The world was and is a better place as a result.

Lastly, look at the script for Jesus, the Son of God and Savior of the world. In our mind, in our day, in our culture, this guy would have shown up on prime time television, before an audience of millions, dressed to kill, slick as all get out, wielding power like a Czar, and blinged-up like no other. Would anyone, prior to the book being written, have guessed He would show up in a manger, amongst barn animals, shepherds, and hay, with his parents running and hiding like criminals? Would anyone, the Jews certainly did not, have expected the Chosen One to live amongst the down and out and ostracized, have nowhere to lay His head, and be scorned, laughed at, and crucified as a criminal? Come on! But, alas, God turned this unlikely script into the greatest story ever told. The characters, plot, sub-plots, plot twists, and ending are all way off the chart for even the most seasoned of writers. BUT GOD… More sweetness, grace, love, wonder, and astonishment has never been known. Indeed, as a result of this unlikely screenplay, the world and eternity are profoundly impacted.

In closing, “Finally!” I am sure you are thinking, I would like to encourage you to consider that despite all your failures, broken dreams, torn relationships, and unfulfilled desires, God is at work in the plot of your life. He sees all, knows all, and is able to craft a truly remarkable piece of art with your life. Even when it is you who has gotten off page, missed your lines, missed your mark, and otherwise crashed the set, God is able to rewrite your part, restore your character, and deliver an ending worth remembering. He is the writer, producer, director, and main character in all of our lives. As you continue to dream, set goals, and get after it, do so with a keen eye toward His leading. He will not always show us the entire work ahead of time, but this is a director we can all trust. Allow Him to lead you through all the twists and turns of plot development in your life. He knows what we need and He desires our best. Even when it seems difficult, He is at work.

Just as Mr. Holland, in the remarkable movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, did not see his dream of becoming a famed composer become a reality, he came to find that his years spent building into the lives of ordinary kids, in an ordinary school, in an ordinary town, actually contributed in a remarkable way in the bettering of the lives of many. Who can forget that amazing final scene when he is gathering his belongings after being summarily and unjustly canned, as he is walking out of the school for the last time, walking past the auditorium, hears rumbling and music, and ventures in to find a full auditorium of people, all gathered there to pay tribute to him and his legacy?

The highlight comes when many from his past music classes are there playing a role in the orchestra which is honoring him, one of which is the newly elected Govenor. As the movie ends, and as Mr. Holland is in tears, astonished by the event, and after having led the orchestra in playing his very own musical Opus, he is presented with the reality that his greatest contribution, his most significant life’s work, his true Opus, is the lives which were changed by being in contact with him over the years.

So it is with us. Even when we don’t get all that we think will make us whole, God is at working conducting His score in our lives. His composition is beyond anything we could ever write on our own. His music is majestic. The unfolding of such a work may not be easy. In fact, it can at times be down right difficult. Such difficulty, is in fact, brilliance. His desire for us is that our life be one worth remembering. Its not about the scorecard, but about the score of His choosing. His notes are those which strike cords of character, truth, purity, beauty, goodness, mercy, kindness, compassion, and otherness. He will never allow us find peace and rest while we are pursuing our own selfish ends. If its all about us, we can have no hope of playing an important part in His symphony. We must follow His lead not our own agenda.

May we trust Him, The Leading Man, The Conductor, The Director, at all times and in all things,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

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