Perspective

Some years ago I had the opportunity to hear a tremendous speaker present a message entitled, “It Could Be Worse”.  While that admonition does not at once make our stress and despair disappear if we are facing big challenges, it does offer a bit of perspective.

This week I had the privilege of being reminded of this truth when I was given the challenge of speaking to a group of workers who are still on the front lines in the rebuilding efforts in areas still dramatically affected by Hurricane Katrina.  Its been three years now, and there are still areas where the devastation left by Katrina remains all too vivid.  Three years later.  Over one thousand days later, and some areas still have homes that have not even been torn down, and other homes, still,  with the dreaded search party spray-painted numbers and letters remaining, telling sad tales of death and loss.  Its hard to comprehend unless you go there and see it in real life and in real time.

What was interesting about my speaking engagement this week was the audience.  Actually there were two audiences.  One audience was a group of young adult Americorps workers who were, themselves, attempting to put life back together while helping others with the rebuilding of homes and communities.  Some of these young adults were there because they had to be to meet court directives, others were there to make an attempt to get their focus off of themselves and on to something “bigger”.  For each, the opportunity to look and move beyond a self-focus, was providing these young adults with a moment to impact the lives of others.  The idea behind the program is to allow young people with the odds against them to see what life can be when you are making a difference.

As I started to speak to these young adults I took a few moments to allow them to tell a bit of their own story, and to share why they were there.  Later, after the talk, they were given the opportunity to write down some  thoughts about the “storms” in their own lives.  The idea was to allow them a few moments to reflect honestly about life and its challenges, look at it realistically, and then consider that despite the tough realities of the past and present, life could have purpose and meaning.  In retrospect, what may have been most important about the entire deal was that after hearing me speak about having a purpose and a future, and hope amidst the storms, they were then thrust into service and spent the day working on behalf of others.   My guess is, even with the fresh thoughts of their own storms at work in their minds, they were forced to put the focus on others and were encouraged by their ability to do something which mattered beyond themselves as they hammered, cleared debris, and gave of themselves.   This is a critical point which I will elaborate on in just a bit.

Another group I spoke to was a group of young adults, college kids, who were in the New Orleans area, some for weeks or months, giving their time to rebuilding efforts.  What struck me was that each had their own life, their own story, and their own activities, but each had put all of that aside for a season to, again, give of themselves to people and communities they had not previously known.  And while their focus is certainly on those they are helping right now, it is clear that in taking the focus off of themselves, their comfort, their pleasure, and their own success, they were being built into better people.  For all of them, in some way, this experience will be a defining moment in their lives.

Here is the point.  What I have been reminded of lately, as I have wrestled with my own challenges, is that I must remember a couple of things as I go through life in this often troubled world.  The first thing is “It could be worse”.  Life is much worse for so many people.  In our American culture, a culture of staggering excess (which we all love a bit too much, myself included), we can fall into a pity party at the slightest thing.  There are people struggling with issues and realities far deeper and darker than my own.  While I cannot diminish my own real struggles, I can remember that it certainly could be worse, and I can be thankful what what is intact.  This helps a great deal in maintaining joy, focus, and a sense of hope.

Second, what is central to any life worth living and to maintaining a sense of perspective in life, is an outward focus.  Again, in a culture where “me” is the supreme ethic, we need regular reminders of this reality.

I recently spent a week in Beverly Hills.  And as I have previously written, the setting, while entertaining and beautiful to see, can very quickly turn on you and make you forget about life in the real world.  Beverly Hills, as has been sung about, has become the iconic ideal of the American Dream.  But if we think about this with any sense of sobriety and intelligence, we cannot help but recognize that this desire for excessive excess diminishes us as people.  When Beverly Hills becomes our goal can enough ever be enough?  If enough is never enough can we ever be truly fulfilled?  When a Mercedes must be upgraded to a Ferrari, and a Ferrari added to a garage already filled with a Rolls and a Lamborghini, and a Porsche, and a… how are we to ever find rest?  Where does it stop?  Where do we find time to look outward in such a scheme?  When we define life and people by the size of a home, bank account, or social network what are we to make of life when faced with the reality that none of that lasts?  When marriage partners become as expendable as watches and other trinkets, how are we to ever maintain relationships which get beyond what they offer us?

A constant focus on building a bigger kingdom, cosmetically enhancing an already largely artificial body, finding a new and bigger pleasure quest, and an all out thirst for MORE never brings us to a life of inner fulfillment nor does this kind of drive sufficiently medicate, heal, or restore our own brokenness.  One only needs to read the Hollywood tabloids to recognize this reality.

So, here is the deal.  If you find yourself struggling to make sense of your difficulties and challenges, and if you are awash with grief and despair, look outward.  Consider, while not abandoning reality, that in reaching out to others who are, indeed, in a worse spot, that you may find some sense of peace and purpose in helping others.  Rather that wallowing in your own misery, find a way to help those around you who have a significant dose of their own misery right now.  Recognize that if no joy remains in your life part of the cure may be an intentional pursuit of helping others.

When the challenges of our own lives seem overwhelming we can often heighten our mood and lift ourselves above the flood waters of despair as we look outward and seek to enhance the lives of others.  If we are to find the kind of life we were meant to live we must remember that life is bigger than us.  We were put here for a purpose.  That purpose is bigger than our own happiness and comfort.  While we can and should enjoy the blessings of this world and the good in our lives, we must never make the quest for MORE our focus.  If you want to get out of your depression, if you want to get out of a rut, find a way to impact the lives of others.  It could be worse.  It is worse for  many.  Make an attempt to make it better for someone else, and in the process you very well may find a bit of peace and purpose in your own life.

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

This entry was posted on 11. June 2008 at 09:35 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.