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- 19. November 2008: Shouting for help in a mass of "hushers"
- 18. November 2008: More Opportunity, more need, more reach!
- 5. November 2008: History...past, present, and future
- 31. October 2008: Brightest Day and Darkest Night
- 23. October 2008: I want to be "normal"! Or do I?
- 15. October 2008: Marcia Brady, Economic Turmoil, and Boundaries
- 13. October 2008: A Love Story
- 7. October 2008: Allocating for disaster
- 2. October 2008: What a ride (A dedication to Don Audibert and his family)
- 30. September 2008: I need a rescue plan!
The Calling of Fathers
The Call to be Fathers
Jewish Proverb:
When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
Knights of Pythagoras: A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.
While Freud misses the mark when associating our “need for God” with our broken relationships with earthly fathers, he at least understands the impact fathers have on us. The absentee father is one of the major weaknesses in the life of families today.
A dad’s presence speaks nearness and the nearness of God -it brings security stability, and a sense of love and belonging. The nearness of God is one of the critical doctrines of scripture and it is to be reflected in our relationships with our family. He is called “Emmanuel, God with us”. As dads we need to be present, near.
No amount of money, no title, no honor, no amount of selfish pleasure can replace the joy of being near one’s kids. We miss so many precious moments in the everyday life of our kids when we are not there. You cannot write a check big enough to replace the cumulative total of these moments. They are priceless. An unexpected smile, a first step, that first real swim stroke, the first base hit, the first service ace! All of that stuff is too good to miss out on, dads. And when we are present for those moments we and our kid’s hearts are lifted in ways that words cannot express and success cannot replace.
The idea that fathers fulfill all their duties as long as they are putting a roof over head falls far short of the biblical call. Fathers are called to be present and to be nurturing. The tough guy who comes home and expects the kids to be quiet, a meal to be made, and “his” home to be in order is missing what God has designed for the family. The present nurturing father is the one who will leave a legacy behind. Fathers have a call to champion the values of tenderness, unconditional love and acceptance for “just showing up”. We have to be around to champion those values.
“It is not who you are underneath that matters, you are defined by what you do”—that’s a quote from the last Batman movie, and there is a great deal of truth in those words. We are defined in the eyes of our kids by what we do, no what we say. How we live in front of our kids makes the difference.
Examples of constancy, faithfulness, and excellence give them foundations for the rest of their lives. Endurance amidst difficulty demonstrates a critical value for the future. The affirmation of boundaries in a culture that wants to rush through any boundaries that are set by others is central to a life well lived. We set the tone for this huge value.
Understanding that consequences result from our actions and decisions, and blessing comes from a life lived in devotion to God—these are must haves, and they are passed down from dads.
We teach our kids life lessons through our stability.
Strength amidst pressure is a trait our kids see too infrequently in those around them. The modus operandi is “if the going gets tough…get going”. We must teach our kids
The knowledge of God is the most important thing we hand down to our kids. The
knowledge of who He is, His attributes of Grace, compassion, joy, the adventure of faith—these are things which establish our children for life.
We must teach kids to live under the loving gaze of God…to develop a life lived in His presence, His kind, tender and loving presence. We must make it clear that our kids are to have one thing as the number one goal, their chief aim–to know God and enjoy Him forever. The will know our passions as they watch us over the years. We must teach them the value of rightly placed affections and demonstrate our pursuit of the chief end of man. We must teach our kids that apart from Him they are nothing, and that in His presence is fullness of joy.
It will all go back in the box at some point. Just like the game of monopoly, all the houses, cars, toys, trips, all the stuff at the end of the game goes right back in the box. At the end our lives all but our legacy eventually fades away. All the stocks, bonds, property and toys we may leave our kids will mean little in comparison to the spiritual legacy we leave when we lead lives devoted to God. If we have merely taught our kids to collect stuff we missed the mark. The cravings of our culture will always leave a hunger for more. They are ultimately unsatisfying. Only the legacy of a life well lived in front of our kids will teach them to hunger for God. When that becomes their pursuit the trappings of the world will lose allure. We must ask ourselves, “What will my kids say about my greatest love, agenda, passions, and pursuits?” The answer to that question means more than we can imagine.
Optimuslife.org
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