You are currently browsing the Bruce Smith weblog archives for May, 2009.
26. May 2009 by BruceSmith.
Dear Bruce,
I have recently come to a place in my life where I recognize I need to find a greater sense of “balance”. The short version of my story is as follows:
I grew up always hungering for the day when I would prove to everyone that I am “somebody”. Over the years I have done everything I had to in order to be a somebody. I guess I defined that as achieving certain things in life. Sometimes it was being a stand out in school, later it was a good job, more recently promotions, titles, bigger house, a second house, bigger bank accounts, and as much sex and pleasure as I want. No rules, just more of what I want, and no one to answer to. I thought this is what it meant to “make it”. I am beginning to wonder. Somewhere along the way, though I have tried to hide it from myself, and everyone else, I have grown to despise the person I am. I have everything most people aspire to, but somehow I am empty. Can a person actually be bored with success and pleasure? It seems that is all I think about and I am bored with it. How do I find some sort of balance, spiritual balance in my life?
Paul.
Paul,
Your story is one I have gotten many letters on. There are untold numbers of people who are living the same reality in our culture. Actually, it is a common “sense” for many regardless of class or accomplishment. I will answer your question directly, personally, and by sharing one very emotional and spiritually potent story.
I grew up playing the game of tennis. I am convinced it is the most beautiful game in all of athletics. The agility needed to reach a high level of expertise on the tennis court requires many things; speed, power, timing, decision-making, technique, consistency, footwork, reaction time, and agility, just to name a few. But, perhaps, beyond all other things needed, BALANCE, is critical to every shot, stroke, set-up, follow through, and point. Your question was about balance, so I will answer it from that vantage point using the metaphor of tennis to illustrate.
Growing up playing the game, I have always tried to study and emulate those who had the purest form of the game. For a recent figure who embodies the art and beauty of tennis as it was meant to be played we need only look to Roger Federer. His game is a picture of all I described above, and the image of artistic balance on the court. People are so attracted to his game because of the fluidity which begins with his perfect balance. Life is very much this way.
For whatever reason, though I was denied many other gifts, God seemed fit to give me a good bit of athletic ability. I feel most alive (outside of family, writing and ministry activities) when I am competing athletically. And for me, its not true athletic competition unless I have mastered the game and played it as it ought to be played. I want to win, but I don’t want to win ugly. My motto is “win pretty”. For me, that is just a simple way of saying, “If you are going to play the game, play it the way it ought to be played”.
Recently, I had one of the best compliments paid to me that I have ever received while playing tennis. At 40 years old now, with many a broken body part, and a step slower than I used to be, I still love the game, and still aim to play it as it ought to be played. However, I am less confident I do that from day to day at the level I desire. But while playing not too long ago, a tennis professional (who has been coaching high level, even tour level players for 30 years) came over to my court to encourage me, saying, “Of all the places I have taught over the years, and all the players I have seen, I have to tell you, your game is the most beautiful I have seen anywhere”. With my head swelling so much its a miracle I could walk through the gate, they continued, “…what is so pretty about your game is that each stroke is hit like it is meant to be hit, “, and with my head now about to burst, “…what I think it is, is the balance. You look so perfectly at ease, at balance, on every ball no matter where it is, no matter how far you have to run”.
Now, I know you are thinking, “This guy is full of crap! …and himself!”, but stay with me. There is a point and its not about me or my tennis game. The sense of joy I walked away from the court with was not due to someone recognizing me, rather, it was about “playing the game as it ought to be played”. That is my goal on the court. That is the goal for all of us in whatever we do, isn’t it? It should be. And I think its the question you are asking in regard to life. If I can paraphrase you, you seem to be asking, “How do I adjust my stroke (life) in a way that enables me to get it right, to live the way I ought to live?” And interestingly enough, you mention, in your question, the answer; balance. We all seem to know inherently that life is not about obsession with one thing. We seem to just understand that balance is critical if we want the beautiful life. Like the beautiful game, this does not just happen. We must will it, and make a practice of it. Balance is decision, practice, desire, and quest all wrapped in one.
By balance, what I mean here is that ability which enables you to play each life situation as it is meant to be played. Balance is what allows you in tennis to set up for each stroke, to arrive at each stroke, to swing fully on each stroke, and to maximize each shot. This is true of life as well. The proper balance (more in this in a moment) in life is what prepares you for maximum competitive performance. Balance comes from forward thinking. “O.k., if I slide into this shot (decision), it will leave me set up to run back this way for the next one…”. Its kinda like setting up in billiards for the next four shots. Its not all about the craving of the moment.
What I do not mean by “balance”, so you know, is some sense of, “Hey, take it easy. Just don’t over do it, man. Don’t be fanatical. Just have a little balance”. That is not the aim here. Rather, the balance I am speaking of, that which offers you the beautiful life you want, is the balance illustrated in the following story which I heard Ravi Zacharias share some time ago. It is actually a balance whereby we recognize our need for God’s support, poise, and strength in our life.
Ravi tells the story of two friends of his who decide to adopt a child. After some soul searching and discussion they decided that Romania was the place they were called to search for their new addition to the family. So, as the day came, and the trip unfolded to pick up their new little boy, in order to prepare the wife brought along a Romanian bible just in case.
Upon arriving at the orphanage, and after spending time with a number of kids, the husband and wife were drawn to one little boy in particular. George, as he was called, was the orphan God was calling them to parent. What is interesting about this is that no one else seemed to want George. His own mother thought he was, perhaps, cursed by God. If fact, many in the community felt the same way, working on the false assumption that any child with no arms, as George was, must be cursed by God, and unwanted by others.
The couple, however, was resolute and determined that this was the child God had for them. George’s mother, assuming maybe the parents were taking him back to the states for genetic testing or something , asked the parents, “Why do you want this boy, my boy, to go home with you. What are you going to do with him?” The wife, unable to speak Romanian, simply opened the Romanian bible she brought with her, and read from Psalm 139 which speaks of our being, even George’s being, “fearfully and wonderfully made”. The little boy’s mom, recognizing that God was providing a gift for this little boy, and amidst tears, held out George to his new parents and said, “Then I know he will be blessed in your home”.
Ravi goes on to tell how precious this little boy is. He tells how George, when he is placed into someone’s arms in order to be held, buries his face in their face, and his chest in their chest, in order to support himself. Because the little guy has no arms, his only way to balance himself is to fall headlong into the chest and face of the one who is holding him. He must trust them fully to support and embrace him. He has recognized his inability to balance himself without help, and he has surrendered his heart and care to those who seek to hold on to him.
Paul, I would submit to you that this is the picture of the beautiful life. For those of us who have sought to find life apart from being held in God’s arms for our support and balance, this is a lesson we must embrace. I hunger to play the game of tennis as it ought to be played. I recognize that it all comes down to balance. In the game of life, if we are to live the life God offers us, we must lose ourselves in His embrace, let go of our own agenda, and fall headlong into his arms and care. As I write this I am watching the French Open Grand Slam. On the “red clay” of the French Open it is common tennis knowledge that in order to be effective over the two weeks of the tournament one must have a set of strong legs and superior balance. Sliding into the shot is critical for success on the clay. But, the trick is, successful sliding requires letting go of oneself just when the natural tendency is to tighten up and protect oneself. To slide correctly a player has to commit to the slide and then just let it happen once it starts. If done right, its a simple but artistically beautiful thing to watch. For a tennis purest, this is as close as it gets to feeling like you are “walking on water”.
This is how it is to lose oneself, one’s agenda, in pursuit of the beautiful life. We must let go and fully commit ourselves and our future to God. Just as George has no arms to support himself, we handicap ourselves as we clinch, grasp, and lock ourselves onto things which keep us from the beautiful life God offers. When you lock up when sliding on clay a train wreck is the only option. When we lock onto life with no recognition that God is our guide we abandon our very source of balance and life is headed for a crash.
If you truly want the life you ask about, Paul, you will find it in no other place. Apart from the all-sufficient embrace of God, life lacks meaning, purpose, beauty, and balance. Let go of the search for “you” and the quest for pleasure. We live in a world falling off the beam, a world which has lost all sense of balance. We live in a world weary of pleasure. In the purest sense, Christ is your balance. Fall headlong into the purposes and pleasure of God just as George must fall into the embrace of those who have his best interest in mind.
Find yourself Him.
Bruce
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21. May 2009 by BruceSmith.
Keep Walkin
I believe it was Churchill who said, “…if you find yourself walking through hell, keep walking”. Good advice for those weary from battle in a world that can often feel cold, dark, and dreary. The dark night of the soul, that inner struggle with life’s disappointments, the emotional exhaustion of a less than hoped for life, can all add up to a living spiritual hell. If this is the case for you today, I offer two words, “Keep walking.”
The temptation for each of us at one point or another, amidst the overwhelming forces which rage against our soul, is to just give up, quit. In those moments where the terror of the unknown fill us with perilous thoughts, we must remember that in walking we take another step closer to the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Moreover, we must remember, that light, however distant it may seem, is actually moving toward us. The Prince of Light, the one who redeems the darkness and uses it for His purposes, actually is pursuing us in our darkened state. The very Giver of Light is chasing us even as He is chasing the darkness away.
Today, if you find yourself in the land of the unknown, the desert of regret, or the great forest of failure, place your hope in the promise of God for those who seek Him with an honest heart. He works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. (Romans 8) Keep walking toward your eternal purpose, life in Him. As the tug of false hopes grabs hold of your affections, keep walking. When the momentary and frustrated promises of pleasure seek to steer you off course, keep walking. When the sober reality of stolen waters seeks to drown you in sorrow, keep walking. When the weight of addiction arrests your every aspiration for release, keep walking. When all your efforts for good are thwarted, keep walking. Whatever hell brings your way, keep walking. And if like the prodigal son, you actually bring hell to your own doorstep, find the courage to turn around, and start walking, back in the right direction.
In walking we find progress. In walking there is hope. In walking the light gets nearer, and the storm-tossed waves flatten out. Just as Jesus’ disciple was called out of the boat of safety, and onto the waters of uncertainty, so too are we called to trust Him and walk forward on the sea of the unknown. Though we all tend to hunger for a life of ease and perfect peace and clarity, it seems as though the call of God draws nearer to us in the walk through difficulty, the stroll through the valley of the shadow, along the roadway to who knows where. If we choose to run, to run through life in pursuit of unending pleasure, fame, and plenty, we risk running right past the purposes of God for us. In reality there is no greater hell. Separation from the One who brings safety in the darkness is hell defined. We assume light for our souls is found in some place other than where God leads us. We question the Creator of Light, and His very abilities. We doubt He can frame the darkness and bring forth hope. We are convinced the dark souls around us are actually dancing for joy when in reality they are in a hopeless tango with the one who will destroy their very soul. We see light as dark and call the darkness light. We throw the map out the window even as we approach a perilous turn.
As all of the people of God throughout history have found, walking with God is the only adventure which gives our life a true course. When we refuse, ignore, or otherwise disdain His compass set for us, we find the desert a hopeless place. In fact, we are prone to call the desert by another name far more flattering. Though our souls are parched and malnourished, we say we are “living”. We ignore the brittle and decaying bones which surround us. In choosing to be our own guide we have abandoned all the markers which lead us to safety. Eventually, we come to find the desert to vast, and our escape from the drought impossible. With God as our guide, however, even the driest patch of ground can become an oasis of hope. Just as Jesus Himself was, “acquainted with grief”, and was led through the valley of the shadow of death, so we too, can find everlasting light at the end of the tunnel.
Is your heart darkened by the stain of sin? Have you lost hope for a life blessed by companionship? Have your kids failed to live up to your expectations for them, for you? Are you failing yourself? Have all of your honest efforts led you no where? Do you find yourself in that place you always hoped you would never be? Has life brought you so many unexpected blows that you are tempted to quite altogether? Keep walking. Take one more step. Find the courage to lift your foot and throw it forward one more time. We do not know which step will land us on the shore. If you want to walk on water, keep your gaze focused on the One who gives the waters life, and …keep walking. If you have found yourself running in circles in a dry and weary land, stop, drop your agenda, take up His compass again, and walk. Walk back in His direction.
Joy does not have to be gone forever. Hope can spring eternal. Laughter can be found again. Goodness remains behind the veil of evil. Light appears brightest against the darkest night. Walk toward it. Keep walkin.
Walk this way,
Bruce Smith
optimuslife.org
soulstormsite.com
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14. May 2009 by BruceSmith.
Tea and Sympathy: The Truth About Good News
What do you want first? The good news or the bad news? Most seem to say, “Give me the bad news first”. Why? Because we are hopeful that the harsh reality will be comforted by some good news that will follow. Today, I offer you a healthy dose of both. In the end, I hope you will agree, this is the way it should be. Consider this question with me for a bit. I have some news for you…
News, real, accurate, true “news” is a revelation, story, or exposition of that which has happened, is happening, or is to happen. The news could be “good”, “bad”, or just “news”. But the idea with news is, “this is reality”. In our world, in our modern age, of course, such news is rare. “News” today is often interpretation, fabrication, sensationalization, or propaganda.
This was not, and is not the case with what we often refer to as the “Good News” of scripture. We are told in scripture, in fact, that the revelation of God, in Christ, and revealed in the words of the Bible, are to be received as and acted upon as “good news” in its truest sense. But do we? Do we wish to take all of it as good news? What about the parts that call our lives to account? What about the verses which question our sexual ethics? What about the parts which temper our materialism and ego? What about…
The problem with our age, and many of us individually, and all of us as some point or another, is that we often only wish to hear and embrace those portions of the Bible which make us feel all warm and fuzzy. We want to be told we are forgiven, but we don’t want to hear about that which places us in need of forgiveness. The problem with that is that if we are not willing to hear the real news (bad, in fact) about who we are, we can never know our need for the good news of forgiveness. Further, this hinders us from experiencing insane joy, relief, and gratitude to God for His undeserved goodness.
Not too long ago I ran into someone I had not seen in some time, some one I really want to see prosper in life. Knowing this person, and how they have lived, I knew that the kind of life they generally lived was not really in keeping with the quality of life offered to us in scripture. Parties, sexual freedom, live in relationships, drunkenness, immodesty, and a number of other realities characterized this persons life. This person, like all of those created in God’s image, has many attractive qualities as well, and I generally like, and deeply care for this person, but the tone of their life is as described.
Not knowing what had been going on in this person’s life in some time, I was open to hearing a general life update, and got one. What was interesting was that despite updates others had given me about this friend in recent months, I was unaware that this friend had been “attending church for several months now”, as it was put to me. Thrilled to hear that I offered encouragement, but was interrupted by them when they said, “Yeah, the thing I really like about going is that the speaker is always so positive,…I always leave feeling good.”
Now let’s hit the pause button a moment. As a person who enjoys living life according to the model of Christ, and one who enjoys spending time with unchurched people, and as one who genuinely likes unchurched people, I am always thrilled to hear that someone has made their way to a local pew. So, I am, let’s be clear, thrilled this person has taken that step. What did concern me, however, was the lack of apparent recognition, even after nearly a year in church, of any heart felt “need” of God’s altering their life. I, of course, checked my heart and did not want to assume something false, and so I have watched that life closely in more recent months to see evidence of a real change of heart and soul. Let’s pause again here. I am the first to affirm that when we come to God for forgiveness and redirection it takes time for His character to be built in us. We don’t walk down an isle, say a prayer or fill out a card and “boom” we are saints. Its a process for us all. It is also true, however, that in a true conversion something radical does indeed happen, and some difference is felt, seen, and lived out. When no fruit is being born, and no changes are evident for all who know us to see, we must doubt what has truly taken place. Further, it is also true, that some come to the church and can be there for quite some time before a true conversion takes place. Again, salvation is a process for most. I get, teach, and affirm that. Maybe that is going on here? Time will tell perhaps. O.k., hit the play button again.
What concerns me for this friend and for the church in America as a whole, and for our culture as a whole is the prevalent desire to define our “goodness” as we see fit. By the way, this “friend” fits the description of may people I have befriended over the years. Its a most common situation. Further, we call good that which is dark, and we are prone to call nothing dark, let alone “sin”. If there is no “darkness” in us or in culture, why are Christ’s followers called to be the “light” of the world?
The danger in many pulpits today, and in the minds of too many church goers, is the idea expressed this way, “You are good, I am good, its all good…Amen, enjoy your week, and let’s do this again next week!” And then people leave the sanctuary unchanged and unable to understand why life is no different from the week before. I care deeply for this friend I have described and for the untold millions who live this way, and hope for the best, indeed pray for the best. Yet, in the months following our conversation, it has been apparent that a great many of the lifestyle realities which were there before, and which are very damaging, are still very much in place. There seems to be little outward tangible evidence of true life altering conversion. I don’t know all and don’t claim to be or desire to be or try to be the “judge” of this or any person, just looking at what is there. I am sad about it, hopefully sad, but profoundly sad. I do hope I am wrong and missing something. But this is the point as I will bear out later.
Another friend asked me recently what I thought about a rather well known pastor. My response did not sit too well with them. Pause, again. I am NOT one of “those” who go around talking about what is so wrong with churches, pastors, other christians, etc. I am generally speaking, an encourager and look for the way forward towards God’s plan. The difficulty I have with the leader this person asked about, and much of our approach to christianity in America, is that we want to make everyone comfortable, happy, wealthy, and well kept…and continuing to fill our pews and offering baskets. If we are not careful our Sunday worship hour can turn into a feel good pep rally full of smiles and niceties without any life change. When this happens the people in our pews go on living like everyone else in the culture, experience very little of the abundant life God offers, and make no difference in the lives of others. That is not salvation, that is not Church. That is a false life. As has been said, “I don’t have any difficulty with the Christ of Christianity, its the Christians I have a problem with.” Of course, none of us is perfect, yet, we should be resembling more and more, the One we proclaim to follow. If we want Him and His benefits we must also want His character built into us.
Let me be more direct. The concern I have for this person I have also for our churches and for each one of us. If we don’t recognize that the Good News has two sides we have not experienced it. The good news of God assumes that there exists a recognition of our NEED for good news. The good news starts with who we are, and then offers us the cure for the ugliness of that reality. As was spoken of Christ the Messiah in the Old Testament, “Those who were in darkness have seen a great light!” Darkness = bad, Light = Good. That’s how it works. Let’s look at a few biblical examples.
Isaiah. Chapter 6. Read it. This is a classic Old Testament text which shows vividly the true nature of God’s good news. Isaiah has a vision. In that vision he, a holy man of God, sees himself and the people he serves as utterly dark, marred, and sinful. So much so that he is “undone” and cries out to God expecting nothing but what he deserves for being so corrupt of heart. This is a man who was not in a bar or two every week or every night. He was not living with various women. He was not an addict or a greedy man. He was not misleading others with his words and deeds. He would have been the poster child for a church board member for us. Yet, seeing himself as he really was, he came unglued, cried to God for mercy and healing, and was touched by God, THEN, sent into service for Him.
The problem with us today is that we don’t do the first part. We don’t want to hear anything about our being soiled and unworthy. We desire to reframe life. Instead of allowing God to speak to us we wish to define the kind of God we will serve. We want the smiley, get rich and happy god. We want the “Its all good” god. We want the “Don’t judge me” god. We want the “If it feels good how can it be wrong” god. We want the “Don’t get fanatical on me” god. But that is not real. It brings bad results.
The Rich Young Ruler. Remember this guy? Jesus runs into him while here on earth going about his ministry. The guy, thinking he has his act together, approaches Jesus and asks, “What must I do to be saved?” Simply, Jesus says, “Have you passed these few moral tests?…” He answers with a grin, “No problem, got that, done that, check, good, I’m cool”. Then Jesus, addressing his heart after he attempted to hide behind his spiritual acts, says, “Give all you have to the poor and follow me.” Jesus wanted the guy to know that his heart was not really in it after all. He wanted him to know that his money would not close this deal.
In our day, I am afraid, too many of us would say, “That is not fair, Jesus. That is overboard! I thought you were a good guy! Hey, I am not going to kill anyone, but I am not doing that! I will find a nicer god.” Essentially, this is what the rich young ruler said too. The story ends with this horribly sad verse, “He though about what Jesus said and went away very sad.” That’s it! He just refused to take Jesus up on his deal. What did he miss? The news. The Good News. The truth about himself and God. And more.
He missed what we miss today. We want it all on our terms. He missed that Jesus actually told him how he could have eternal life and salvation! Did you get that?! He was told by God in the flesh how to know Him and he said, “No thanks.” Crazy, you say? Yes. We do the same. We fail to see that it is good news in its truest form that God has revealed Himself to us, and has given us the roadmap. We, like the rich young ruler, just want more options. It has been noted that the problem for us, with regard to marriage, is not that God offers us one spouse. Rather, the problem is that He has placed any limits at all. Had he offered us 100 we would have demanded 101. We crave our own answers for our desires. But its good news to know what the true answer is.
What if you asked your boss how to get a huge promotion and bigger pay check? What if he or she told you how to do it? What if it was clear, for your good, no manipulation, but it took work? Would you do it? Would your boss be “good” to tell you? What if your parents (I am talking to you teenagers) told you how to do life successfully? Would that be good? Or is your view as a high schooler the one you will live by no matter what?
So, why don’t we want to take God up on the real news about ourselves and about life in Him? Because we wish to have Him and also to define life for ourselves. But do you see the stupidity in that? He is truth, and we want to craft our truth even when it so conflicts with what is truly true! We wish the bad news about our character to be good news. We refuse the true news which offers us cleansing from our badness and false news about ourselves and life in general. We want of god of tea and sympathy.
He tells us not to cross the boundaries sexually because it actually harms us and others and separates us from Him. We just want to be told “It feels good for a few minutes, so keep it up.” We want to be told we can live for stuff and it will work out, and we will keep our integrity, family, and sanity. The good news is that it won’t work. It is good to know the truth so we can live abundantly. We want to hear the preacher say, “You are lovely.” Despite the fact that our lives are miserable and conflicted. We want the “God of love” but not the God of all truth. We want the God who is always smiling and who never gets angry at the darkness within us. But should He just smile, continually, at a world filled with deceit, war, violence, rape, torture, and all manner of corruption? Do you always smile when people do you harm? The love of God for our good calls Him to anger over that which destroys us. In order for Him to delight in our good, does it not follow that He would abhor that which is bad for us? Surely.
Lastly, look at the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery. Two women. Two meetings with the giver of Good News. What did Jesus tell them? Well, He did not ignore the reality of their lives that’s for sure. The woman caught in adultery, she had been caught in the act. Rather than ignore it, Jesus had her and everyone see her failing, but then He offered her forgiveness for her captivity. Yes, He viewed her adultery as captivity. More on this later.
The woman at the well? Again, Jesus told her, in her words, “Everything about me”. He confronted her in her serial sexual promiscuity…and He offered her another life. He did not say, “Take my life and all the perks and keep on sleeping around and partying”. Rather, He had her see the depravity and emptiness of her life and told her, “Go and sin no more”. Good news! Your are broken. I can fix you and offer you a better life. That is the message we need.
Notice, importantly, that neither of those who took Him up on His offer attempted to dodge the blows of truth to the ego. They did not say, “But God, it was so and so’s fault.” Or “It is because of my past”. Or “My father never loved me”. And the woman at the well did not dare say, “But Jesus, it was my five husbands’ fault!” “All of them were bad men”. “My first husband, he was emotionally detached! My second, a carouser! My third, a drinker! My fourth, lazy! And my fifth…oh, don’t get me started on him!” No, they took the blame, accepted reality, and embraced the grace and healing extended to them. They ran from the darkness to the light of truth and grace.
In a culture where night is called day and the light is called darkness, and amidst headlines where those who stand for God’s view of marriage are mocked, we would do well to consider the truth about good news. The good news of God is accurate, definitive, life-giving, and joyfully uncompromising. Like the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, and countless others, we must escape the plight of the rich young ruler (the one who wished to rule his own life and heart), and accept the news from God that we are in need of His revelation. We come to Him on His terms.
When we choose self over family, families die. When we choose pleasure over sobriety, bodies, relationships and mental health deteriorate. When we choose fame and fortune over consistent and controlled living, we find life unsatisfying at the very point we expected it to make us more content. Indeed, the deepest despair in life is found at that moment when we obtain everything we thought would give us fulfillment, and by any measure, only to find our cravings unquenched.
Do we doubt it is good news when we are approaching a bridge which is only halfway built, and the signs tell us to turn way? Do we doubt the life-giving reality of being told to hold our breath while under the water to keep from drowning? Just as the darkness is illuminated by the light, and as hope pulls back the curtains of despair, so does the good news of God offer us a view of life which brings healing, protection, joy, peace, and purpose.
Its not all good. Good is good. Goodness comes from God. This is news we must hear if we are to find the life He offers, life to the full (Jn 10:10). In His goodness He tells us the truth about ourselves rather than merely offer us tea and sympathy. Sometimes we need someone to grab the teacup and its saucer, and throw it against the wall of our madness, and say, “Wake up! You are headed in the wrong direction!” Love is angered over destruction, indifference is a sign of true hatred. God loves us, and so He is passionate for our good. He is lovingly enraged when our lives are being thrown away. He offers us so much more.
Hear the words of Jesus if you hope to find the “good” life, the very words He offered as His vision statement to the world, words offered against a backdrop of bad stuff, stuff which characterizes, according to Jesus, all of our lives, apart from Him,
I have come to bring good news to the poor,
liberty to the captive,
recovery of sight to the blind,
release from oppression,
and to proclaim the year of God’s favor.
Again, Jesus begins with the reality of our condition. We need His alternative because we are trapped, blind, captive, poor, and oppressed. This is our spiritual condition. He announces that freedom from a false life leads to real celebration in the deepest part of us. With forgiveness comes jubilee. Jubilee, the year of God’s favor, was a time set apart as a national God party. It was when everyone went joyously worship crazy because of the redemptive work of God on their behalf. That which had dominated and controlled them for so long had been broken. They were astounded by the freedom and hope given them by God. If we don’t know our state, we can’t rejoice in the good news of a new found liberty, freedom, and vibrancy of life.
The Good News is that He knows who you are even when you refuse to acknowledge it. He sees what you want no one to see. He sees what you try to hide from Him, and that which you keep hidden from others, and that which you even try to hide from yourself. He hears your deepest yearnings and most intense cries. And, He loves you and offers you more. You won’t ever find it on the road He has not blessed. He is a God of love. He is jealous for your good. He won’t sit around letting you think all is well when you are on the road to greater emptiness and despair. He is your good and only hope.
He offers peace in place of pain, compassion in place of bitterness, fulfillment in place of a cold empty heart, hope in place of defeat, honesty in place of deception, love in place of lust, passion in place of perversion, sobriety in place of uncontrolled craving, and life in place of death.
That, my friends, is Good News.
Grace and Goodness in Him,
Bruce Smith
optimuslife.org
soulstormsite.com
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8. May 2009 by BruceSmith.
That is ridiculous! America’s Great Sex Debate
“That is ridiculous!”, was the statement I heard one CNN host/interviewee belt out during a program dealing with the current debate over Sarah Palin’s daughter’s abstinence quotes in recent days. As most people know by now, Bristol, who has split with the father of her child, is now talking about teen sex and moral values. Levi, for his part, is on the air suggesting, much to the liking of most media, that an abstinence approach to teen sex is unrealistic and unprofitable.
I live in the real world, and in fact, have two teenagers in my home. So, I do not approach this subject without a frame of reference. Further, I was once a teenager (though too many years ago to count, I still remember–well!). What is so very troubling to me is the arrogant and moral pitch with which many are bashing Bristol and others who would embrace the abstinence approach. Indeed, on yesterday’s CNN broadcasts the overwhelming sense given from the hosts and the majority of interviewees was one of disbelief and smug amusement that anyone could suggest that abstaining from sex was a real possibility for a teen, or anyone else for that matter. Married or not, it is suggested, sex is just a given, like eating lunch, showering, sleeping, or using the bathroom.
Further, the fact that Bristol is pregnant, is now being used as a battering ram against the argument for abstinence. The media pundits seem somehow amused and convicted that no one who is pregnant can logically make a stand for premarital abstinence. But how many of us are convinced of important moral stances and yet don’t live up to them every second of every day? Because a person makes a mistake does not logically disprove a value one embraces. That is like suggesting a parent who claims to love their child is proven a phony on those occasions when anger and frustration wins out over patience and poise. Does this negate the reality of love for a child? I don’t think so. Many other examples could, of course, be given here.
The over-arching reality that is unspoken in this uproar over Sarah Palin’s daughter and her pregnancy is the culture hunger for a life lived without any moral constraint. What is so ironic, however, is the moral fervor with which the pundits attack morality. The very same voices which desire to live a moral absolute-free life seem to be making a moral case that abstinence as a moral value is absurd. But to what authority, we must ask, do such people appeal in making the case? How can we expect to make a moral case against morality without appealing to some standard of morality or truth? That is “ridiculous” in the most fundamental and intellectual of ways. The statement, which I heard several times yesterday, “That is ridiculous!”, is in fact, a statement which must be offered upon some basis of standard. Who says? Who is the standard of measurement for such a claim that Ms. Palin’s stance is so far from normal reality based living as to be intellectually laughable, reprehensible and untenable? To what bearer of cultural and moral truth does a “news reporter” appeal to make such an emotionally-laden pronouncement? Ridiculous? Indeed!
What I find so deeply troubling about the cultural rhetoric of our day is the increasing rate of appeal and the fever pitch with which so many are communicating to our young people an “anything goes” approach to life. We seem bent as a society to abandon any call to moral truth which does not please the individual. But we need only look to our fight with the terrorists to see the faulty logic. Practically speaking we cannot approach life with a “you measure truth for yourself” approach. With 6 billion people on the planet, and with that approach, we would be open to 6 billion competing views of truth. Surely, many of those views would conflict. And they do. We believe, as Americans, that people who kill us for differences of opinion are mad, they are terrorists, they are morally vile, and they ought to be stopped, even killed. But they believe equally as strong that we are the ones who need to be disposed of. Without a standard of measurement who is to say which view is correct? Is there a higher truth to which we can appeal? No doubt the terrorist’s pundits would suggest, “It is ridiculous that anyone in our culture could believe that Americans should not die! Come on, Abdul!!” Think about it.
So, I write today to suggest that we as a culture reconsider what it means to be human, what it means to live morally, and what it means to understand and embrace truth, real life-giving truth. Is Ms. Palin the kind of person we really want to make a mockery of as a culture? A young girl who has realized that sex outside of the bounds of marriage is wrong, and who has learned, apparently, from her mistake? Would we like her more if she were a sex-crazed, drug loving, religion basher, who called teens to abandon all form of cultural and societal restriction? Frightfully, the reality is, “Yes.”, we would like her more as a culture. Just look at music and movie sales if you doubt this. And see who we make superstars. Really, look at it.
Here is the bottom line. If, as a culture, we are set on developing a society which champions free sex and a morality free approach to life, we will get, in ever-increasing measure, more of what we now have: rising unwed pregnancies, rising broken home numbers, more children neglected and abandoned, more crime, more addicts, more much more of those things which destroy societies and ruin homes and lives. This is simple math really.
Just look at your own life if you doubt this, or the lives of others who have taken the “This is ridiculous!” approach to living. Look at “Girl America” now, and what she has attained for herself. Here is the scene: she grows up in a home where dad (or mom increasingly) left for another lover, she comes to embrace loose living, free sex, substance abuse, and a general “my way” passion for life. Later, after many lovers, a few abortions, and much relational mess, she “settles” down, marries, has a kid. Life feels too confining, too mundane, too predictable, too “restrictive”. She says to herself, “This is ridiculous! I am done with this!” She finds another lover, leaves her spouse, drags her kids along with her into her “freer” lifestyle, and determines to make her own way. Eventually, she finds her new lover old, she tries another, finds him old, tries another, finds him old, tries another…all the while her daughters are watching, and are having their foundation for the future built. In the end, Girl America winds up broken, alone, confused, empty, and without love, and watches in horror as her children repeat the same cycle. Magnify that scene millions of times over, male and female. Is this the nation we want? Look at the numbers, the surveys, the data…its here, now. And if we don’t change the approach with which we embrace living, and if we don’t consider how we are living and what we want to teach our teens, it will continue to come our way in an ever-increasing scale. The results are clearly apparent.
Lastly, let me address this from a very direct, practical and first-hand perspective. As a parent, I really do not want news anchors telling my teens and pre-teens that moral restraint with regard to sex is “ridiculous”. Sex education in my home is my place. Are they next going to tell my kids that restraint with regard to murder, drugs, and corruption are “ridiculous”? I remind you, there is a movement to define life in terms of quality. Those very pundits who are now strong, vibrant, and healthy, will some time, not too far off, be old, gray, and weak in body. If they continue with this logic, then the movement to redefine life in terms of quality (whose quality, whose standard?) may wind up putting a quick end to them when they become a “ridiculous inconvenience” to their children or society in general. A society with morals up for grabs is wide open to all sorts of conflicts. I digress. Back to the firsthand practical defense for abstinence I promised.
I am a 40 year old man. By good genes, and a good deal of work in the gym, I am relatively attractive, quite fit, and somehow “attractive” to, at least, a fair number of females. This is not self promotion, just trying to set the stage. As a single man the last several years, I have not found it too difficult to find a “date” when one was desired. Thankfully, I have had the opportunity to spend time with a number of very attractive women. Some I have spent more time with than others, and on occasion I have traveled with a female. I have been approached by some females, on occasion, and offered various opportunities for “fun”. I have worked in, played in, and generally spend time in settings where access to available women was relatively good. I have the opportunity to drive nice vehicles, have a nice home, live in a good neighborhood, have three beautiful children, and otherwise have no real glaring “stay way from that guy, girls!” caution signs attached to me. All this is to say, as a single, available, American male with an interest in females and access to relationships with attractive females, I have been able to, by God’s grace, remain, yes, “abstinent”! Ridiculous!, huh? I don’t think so. In fact, I am thrilled to be where I am.
Moreover, and again, this is not to promote self, but rather to confront the pundits of late, I was abstinent as a teen. Yep, I said it. I abstained, even as a teen, from sex before marriage!! Still further, by the grace of God, and being convinced of the beauty and wonder of His plan, I have enjoyed and engaged in sex only within the wondrous boundaries of my 15 year marriage. During that time, indeed, sex was fantastic, very frequent, and wonderful. It is a gift from God. It is not life defining, and it will never “make” a relationship, but it was good. Relationships, in fact, are “made” during the 99.9 % of time spent in non-sexual activity. “Making love” is a misnomer. Love is made, primarily, away from the bed. The bed celebrates that which has been formed prior to the festivities. Sex is part of the expression of love, and can indeed enhance and deepen the love which is there, but it cannot “make” the love happen.
Here is the point in opening my sex life my readers. I am only one person, but certainly not the only person, who has spent, by choice, 40 years living in and enjoying God’s plan for sex. Yes, I have indeed been tempted, regularly, to step outside of that plan, and yes, I have at times lost the battle with lust. And, no, I have not been castrated! I am a man, fully a man, living in this sex-driven culture, and very aware of the beauty of a woman, and hope to enjoy that beauty sexually, again, at some point in the future. Yet, I whole-heartedly affirm, and shout, “Abstinence is NOT ridiculous!”, as a concept or life reality. No doubt, I am open to failure in this realm just as anyone else is. No doubt, I could fail tomorrow in living up to the value I have just championed. But have no doubt, I believe abstinence, outside of marriage, is a real, life-giving, God-honoring approach to sexuality. Further, I have seen far too many lives and homes be wrecked by an abandonment of the stance Ms. Palin is now offering. I have seen kids lose parents, friends get diseases, girls experience life-long pain from abortion, and complete confusion in the hearts of those who abandoned the biblical view of sexuality. Consider the irrationality of abandoning moral absolutes with regard to sexuality. If we can choose when, where, and with whom we have sex, who is to say the sex “offender” is morally debased? If one’s abstinence is “ridiculous” is it not ridiculous for all, in any situation, on any grounds? Who says differently? Where is the benchmark for truth here? Where does the logic begin and end?
What our world speaks of as good is in stark and dark contrast to that which God defines as life-giving and beautiful. We are exchanging the truth for a lie. When we as a people call good evil and evil good, we are at risk of greater pain. If we are not careful we will endanger our kids and the nation as a whole. We are already doing so. To be blindly hungry for and inebriated with a life void of moral absolutes is to invite great personal pain, emptiness, confusion, and loss into our lives. To want such is, I suggest, “Ridiculous!” in the truest sense.
Jesus has suggested, “I have come that you might have life, and life abundantly”. (John 10:10) His way is, wondrously and joyfully, the only way which leads to such a life. What life do you want? Abundance? Read His words again. Give it a shot.
Joyfully abstinent (and fully male!),
Bruce Smith
optimuslife.org
soulstormsite.com
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6. May 2009 by BruceSmith.
The Serve and the Return; without these the game cannot be played. As it is with tennis, again, so it is with life. The game of tennis does not begin without the serve. Before every match is played a coin is tossed, a racquet is spun, in order to determine who will “serve” first. Once that little ceremony is completed, its game on!
I have a sneaking suspicion that many of us have had the uneasy feeling that we are just going through the motions in our daily lives. Whether we have happened upon success, lived a life of a middle-class American, or if we have struggled from day to day, this sense of “What is this about?” can pervade our lives. And so it is, the search for significance is central to our living the kind of life we were meant to live. Without a sense of service and return, however, we cannot find that place, the game never starts, and the thrill of living the drama does not fill our souls.
Andy Roddick, the American tennis super-star, is known for his incredibly powerful serve. When he is hitting his serve with precision, he is nearly impossible to beat. And it is in those moments that Andy finds his greatest pleasure and sense of being on the court. That place, for tennis players, is called “the zone”. Those who know the game well would be quick to admit that without his overpowering serve, Andy may not have found his way to the top of the tennis world. Just as Andy needs his serve for greatest success on the court, and just as the game of tennis does not begin without someone serving, our lives do not begin to take on that longed for sense of significance we crave, until and unless we are ready to “serve”.
It has been proven by many studies that the current generation of young people is looking for a place in life through serving. Churches that are growing and those which are reaching young adults have found that the degree to which they are relevant depends largely upon the serving opportunities afforded to young church-goers. It would appear, from many studies, that rather than the American Dream being the chief ideal in many people’s lives, it’s a sense of being significant that matters most. Most people just don’t know how to find this sense of purpose and don’t know what is missing. Our culture tends to persuade us that “more” is the answer, but fewer and fewer people are finding this a satisfying message.
That brings us to the serve. Serving, more than acquisition, pleasure, or a pain-free existence, is what satisfies our hunger most. If our lives are to be significant, we must be pursuing agendas which lead to the betterment of others. I can tell you firsthand that no amount of success or stuff can quiet the hunger to know that our lives matter. Further, our lives only matter when they are contributing to the lives of others.
Are you wondering where your sense of purpose will be found? Then get your serve on. Find a place in the world, in your community, in a cause, … and put your heart, mind, soul, and resources into it. Once your serve becomes effective and regularly effective, like a high octane tennis serve, you will find a greater sense of being on the court of life. When you have found that your title or bank account does not satisfy, throw your efforts into satisfying the needs of others and watch your spirit soar.
The Return; without one you are not even in the point. Equally central to the game of tennis is the Return. Once Andy Roddick hits that furious blast from above, the guy on the other side must have the ability to hit the first ball back. That part of the game is called the service Return. Without one, you don’t get in the point, and you can’t win.
Andre Agassi was known as one of the best “return” guys to ever play the game. His return of serve was compact, precise, potent, and very consistent. Because he could return nearly any serve, and with sharp aim, he was able to stay at the top of the game for decades. He could beat the big boys because he was always in the point. And so it is, again, with our lives. It is easy, especially in our culture, to be enamored with the thirst for more. More, we are told day in and day out, is the key to fulfillment. More sex, more money, more beer, more cars, more homes, more travel, more entertainment, more parties, more me, more, more, more… The problem is, more never seems to be enough. The more we get the more we crave, and ultimately our lives become nothing more than a furious, confused, and destructive quest for more. More of what? We are not sure. We just know we need more!
As is the case with service, so it goes with or “return” game. In fact, as in tennis, the two are inseparable parts of the game. Both are needed for the game to go on, and both must be effective and consistent weapons on the court if a player is to be a champion. This is true of our lives. Just as we must serve others to find ourselves, likewise, we must be looking for opportunities to “return” our gifts to the world. Were you given a great mind? Then use it to make a difference in the lives of those who could benefit. Are you a money maker? Then make more and give more, and invest more in the betterment of this world. Don’t just build and buy more stuff. Do something. Are you a gifted artist? Why not use your gifts to lift this world to see the amazing beauty and wonder which God has offered us?
The point is simple; in order to find that place of purpose, give back, return to the world those gifts God has given you. Are you able to lead?
Leader others toward a life of significance and virtue. Are you able to speak and enthrall people with your words? Return that gift of speech to the world and offer us something we desperately need: words of truth. Are you able to make heart tugging movies and videos? Why not give your gifts, return your gifts to God and move the world toward goodness? Are you immensely talented as a musician? Give God your gifts, and allow Him to bring a return on the skills He has given you. Are you and actor? Act like your acting matters. It does. It can make a difference. It does make a difference one way or another.
If you are saying, “Well, I cannot change the world through my little gift or skill.”, think again. As the proverb says, “He who changes one life, changes the world entire.” You may make a movie for the world to see or you may give back your gift in a local church making videos which lift others weekly. You may sing before millions or you may simply return your gift in the local community. You may sell your art for thousands or you may use your art in a worship service and see someone’s life totally altered because you returned your ability to the place God intended it. If your life has been missing that sense of purpose and fulfillment, get your serve on, and return your gifts to God and to the world. A strong serve and a winning return, like in the game of tennis, are a winning pair in the game of life. Let’s do it.
Grace and Peace,
Bruce Smith
soulstormsite.com
optimuslife.org
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