Simply Worship
Laying alone in bed, still awake(again), the clock burning through midnight, after days of adrenaline, hope, expectation, uncertainty, fear, exhilaration, and the chasm that is the unknown, and worn out from it all, I go back to simplicity, the simplicity of worship.
Surrounded by what appears so desirable, beautiful kids, well appointed home, closet to die for, nice wheels, trips, and all the rest, somehow the sense still lingers: its intimacy with God I need most. Nothing else, no one else, not even everything I want, will fill the void, quench the thirst.
Amidst a life filled with many great experiences, full moments, toys galore, over-sized televisions, bucket list items punched, published writings, and the mirage that is “notoriety”, the yearning grows, the pulse beats stronger, the hunger moves deeper. Intimacy with God. Worship. Intimacy, worship. Without these the rest is worthless. In light of these, the rest is irrelevant. With these two, intimacy with God, and the resource of worship, life is simplified, even if just for a moment, and my soul finds its bearings.
And so, I will continue to lie awake, not knowing what is coming next, and I will simply worship. Lost in that worship, enveloped by the tangible grip of God, I will allow one tear, then another, and maybe yet a few more, a mixture within each tear–a mixture of all that my life contains, the good, bad, and the rest– to run down the sides of my face, soak the pillow, and in the stillness of that moment, with a modern, pensive rendition of the simple tune “The Old Rugged Cross”, “Just Jesus”, or “Every hour I need thee” humming in the background, I will offer myself completely to God.
In this moment, in this space, I am finding myself again. Its not really me I am finding actually, but the One who defines me. And in finding Him, the self is restored, I know who I am because of whose I am, and I am held. My soul is secured. This is the beauty of simplicity, the simplicity of worship, and the gift of intimacy with God. It is, essentially, the one thing I need, the only thing I need, even if my world shall fall away. If I shall acquire all of my dreams or attain none of them, if I have Him, I shall be full. Its not about the what, but the Who. Its not longer mine to struggle over. The pains of the past which so dictate the feelings and fears of today…they are His in this moment. The cravings of the past…His. The drives for more of “Me” now and in the future…done. His. In worship, and in my surrender to this moment of intimacy, my world is heavenly. He is my heavenly. I long to stay here. Every hour, every day. I start, again, tonight, this morning. Simplicity. Worship. Intimacy.
Father, may I end each day in this place, may I wake to each new sunset awash in this reality. Your will be done. I worship you. Its all yours. I am all yours. Amen.
Bruce Smith
Happy Father’s Day