The Distance
There is a distance, a gaping void, between the person I yearn to be, and the person I really am. It is this distance which resonates in my soul amidst every moment of life. Each sound, speech, sorrow, song, and sigh, is filled with the distance. The distance is, perhaps, what I really am. The distance is, largely, my humanity. The distance is why I cannot allow people to see the real me, the full me, the whole me, the broken me, the great me, the puny me, the intelligent me, the ignorant me, the vital me, me. The distance is why I crave my full self to be revealed.
There is a distance within me that is growing. The distance, a longing and a prayer at once, is calling me to be more the man He wishes me to be. The distance I have yet to travel to be a truly human man is far, but shortened by the bridge of grace. God, the all too distant One, draws near, and draws me nearer the goal, as He overcomes the distance through incarnation.
There is a distance, an expanse light years in length, and yet a prayer away, which signifies that I am alive and open to a distant God very near. The distance is my source of longing, and my altar of grace. Within this unresolved yearning my heart finds healing, hope, hunger, and honesty. It is the marred me which longs for the gap to be closed and thirsts for the renewed ego. It is the restored me which cries out for the distance to be closed for others, others yet unaware, of the distance within and between them.
There is a distance. This distance is my reminder that I am not the measure of all things. There is something, someone, in my world, and yet beyond, bigger than me, bigger than all of this. The distance forces me to consider eternity. It pushes me to acknowledge the significance of the now. The distance connects my present and all that is to come forever. The distant thread weaves the tapestry of my life.
The distance reminds me I am not what I am called to be, and yet, I am not what I once was. It is God’s distance, His longing, His healing, His thirst, His mark upon my heart which is ever there. The journey continues. I travel on. From the distance I run. Toward the distance I go. I shall go the distance.
Bruce Smith
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