You are currently browsing the Bruce Smith weblog archives for April, 2010.
22. April 2010 by BruceSmith.
An A.P.P.L.E. a day …
A successful life is largely abut execution. Execution, not in terms of knocking people off, mind you, but rather, execution in terms of diligently pursuing and implementing a strategic plan. What is obvious, but often neglected, is the people part of the execution equation. In all we do in life we are surrounded by others. Daily life now and ahead will force us to engage others. Biblically, we were actually created in community, and for community. Its fundamental. It goes without saying, then, that we ought to be about doing community well. The acronym below (A.P.P.L.E.), I hope, will prove helpful to you as you implement the principles spelled out. Its all about relationships. Like it or not, you will never escape this reality. Learn to like it, engage, and get on with it.
The people part of the equation becomes critical to our “success” in life. That is to say, how we handle people, can make or break us. This is true in romantic pursuits, business pursuits, friendships, casual interactions, families, and in our spiritual dialogue with others. Because none of us lives in isolation (nor should we try), the quality of our relational interaction largely determines how life unfolds for us.
The principles reviewed here, if applied, I believe, can set us up for much greater depth, security, intimacy, trust, and fulfillment in every area of our lives. Applied to every interaction we have, these truths offer the potential for us to experience a much greater sense of freedom and fulfillment on a daily basis. So, as the saying goes, an APPLE a day keeps the…relationally strained life away.
Authenticity– this is that quality which speaks to who we are and what we are about in reality. We cannot, despite any efforts to “act” a part, experience true fulfillment in our relationships if we are not operating from a standpoint of character and truth. Some, being better actors than others, can fake it and sort of keep things going o.k. for awhile, but there is always the nagging sense of deception, hidden agenda, and lack of depth or personal heart connection. Life cannot go on that way very long before our hearts are in a severe state of decay.
In a very real sense we cannot offer what does not reside within us. Until and unless we become something authentic before God, we are merely playing roles to get us through the next interaction. It is God who makes us into the most real self He has created us to be, and only in relationship with Him do we find freedom and authenticity which will make all our other relationships utterly meaningful. If we don’t know Him we cannot truly know ourselves, and we have no hope of giving properly to others. Authenticity, a true knowledge of who you are, Whose you are, and who you are called to be, enables a you to relate to others with a strength, comfort and transparency that far too few have found. It distinguishes you and sets you up for greatness. This authentic personhood, found only in intimacy with God, is the foundation for a life of deep relational interaction with others.
Poise– if you have ever watched a world-class athlete perform splendidly, unrattled, under immense pressure, shot clock running out, 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth, down match point, sudden death…you have seen poise. Poise is the ability, the presence, in the face of real pressure, real life pressure, to perform at a high level, consistently, and superbly. Poise is so critical in relationships and business because at every turn we encounter situations where obstacles arise and present opportunity for destructive reactions. The opposite of poise is a reaction based life. You know these people. Every first reaction to anything resembling discomfort results in an emotional outburst, negativity, assumption of the worst, daggers flying, and self-protection. A lack of poise can kill a relationship or a business deal real quick. Why? Because mature authentic people know that a pattern of life void of poise invites nothing but ongoing chaos and emotional and relational misery. Poise enables honest, deep, reasonable, and patience based responses even when things are not all we want them to be immediately. Poise sees the goal, the potential, rather than the moment. Poise constrains the emotions and the response because we want people to be built up, integrity established, love demonstrated, regardless of how a deal or an agenda unfolds for us. Poise is a grace filled execution of stability and emotional and intellectual strength. Get you some.
Proficiency– This is that quality which gifts us with the preparation needed to succeed on a high level. This is where the mind is equipped through authentic desire to “be” all God has called us to be. Proficient people have minds that are clearly in a process of mature and ongoing thought. If all we know about relational interaction is what we see on television or what we witness in others or have experienced in our past, we will remain deficient in many ways. The authentic person seeks out more education and preparation in order that they might be all they can be to all people and in all things at all times. The business deal, more often than not, will be won or lost (assuming you are authentic and poised) based upon your proficiency. Are you able to demonstrate that you have mastered your business, the deal at hand, the leadership process? The extent to which our lives show excellence in all things greatly determines who is drawn to us in business, love, friendship, and all of life. To neglect your mind is to fall short of God’s call to be prepared at all times. As it relates to spiritual matters, the degree to which we impact others can be measured in great degree to how we have taken time to prepare our own hearts and minds. Again, we cannot offer spiritual seekers, business partners, or others, what we do not have.
It is true, “The mind is a terrible thing to waste”. Turn off the television, pick up the books, prepare yourself for life. With an authentic heart intact, a poised personality in place, its the prepared mind which will set you apart from the crowd. You can fool yourself and others, with regard to intellectual, spiritual and professional proficiency, only for a while. Soon enough you and others will realize its been a shell. Prepare your mind continually. Always be learning. Education is a life long pursuit for those that live a big life.
Leadership– We get the most out of life and all our relationships when WE lead. You will be far more effective in your business and personal endeavors if you are perceived as a leader. If you are authentic, poised, proficient, and demonstrate leadership all along the way, people WILL follow you. If you desire to secure the affection of a client, then lead. If its a friend you seek to motivate, then lead. If its a spouse or a child who needs your direction, then set your compass sure and for the love of God, LEAD.
Demonstrate you are purpose driven, prepared, and headed in the right direction, God’s direction. If you are sure of your calling, and grace filled on your trek, they will follow you. There should never be any doubt about whose you are and to whom you listen. If people cannot tell, chances are good your leadership is frail.
This became very real to me years ago while working for a large investment firm. Though surrounded by veterans, and “sales” masters, and though new to the world of investments, I put my head down, refused to read the sales technique books, and spent countless hours devouring everything on leadership I could find. To the extent it was measured, it was clear that the leadership focus enabled me to outperform all my sales oriented peers. People don’t want to get close to the “sales person” in real life. They refuse intimate and deep relationships with someone who is always looking to sell them something. People want authentic leaders not technique based manipulators. This is true in business, church, families, and everywhere else. They want to see your True North, your compass, what drives you. And to the extent you demonstrate your authentic and God-given course, they will be glad to follow. Stay away from the back-biting, negative, and un-poised followers. Lead others to something more. Lead with authenticity, poise, proficiency, and thoughtful assurance.
Expectancy– This quality, added to the recipe above, is what fills people with a longing for what you are running towards. Its about hope. For decades we have seen political campaigns won or lost on the ability to rally people around this quality. It matters. And all of us have seen those, endured those, who only see what could go wrong, or what is wrong, in a deal, situation, relationships, etc. The first sign of trouble and they focus all energy on how bad things are and the end of the world that is near. Expectancy, hope, is a profound energizer for those who understand its force. Hope, a cornerstone of biblical faith, is also nectar for the longing soul. Dreams are only accomplished when fueled by hope. Marriages are restored through hope. Kids are grown through hope. Business gets accomplished amidst a climate of expectancy for future accomplishment. Our words, our attitude, our presence, ought to be sounding the clarion call of hopeful expectation in all things. When the obstacles come, and come they will, our hearts must be set to the truth of scripture, “All things work together for the good of those called according to His purposes.” And we should find the wind in our sails that we need for the long road ahead in light of the encouraging pronouncement of God, “I have plans for you. Plans for your good, plans for a hope and a future.”
Hope is that quality which is the energizing force for all the rest. Hope feeds the authenticity, poise, proficiency, and the desire to lead. All those qualities, applied to life situations, in turn, fuel more hope. Its circular. When hope is present we can pursue the other qualities with an unceasing passion. And when the foundations of those aforemetioned qualities are supporting our life and relationships, we cannot help but live expectantly and full of hope. Its a win win.
Remember, an APPLE a day brings the adventure of life your way. Get after it, and get on with it.
Bruce Smith
optimuslife.org
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