Beyond Circumstance (happiness) to Significance (purpose and meaning)
Would you rather?… Are you familiar with those little books which ask that question? Would you rather, be Lord of the Universe and have no friends, or be a pauper and be surrounded by friends? Hmm. Or, would you rather lose an arm or a leg? Or, would you rather be smart and have a bad job or stupid and have a great job? Would you rather marry a supermodel who was a miserable person, or an ugly girl with a great personality? Would you rather…? Would you rather?
The questions of life, even the hypothetical ones, are often very interesting. Some questions, of course, matter much more than others. Some direct us to deeper things than others. But questions do matter. So, I propose one for you, one that, really given thought, matters tremendously to each of us. In fact, the following question, like few really, and its answer, has the power to define our lives. So here goes:
Would you rather, be happy or have a purpose?
The question may appear benign at first, and surely, we would all rather have both. So where is the rub? Is it possible to have both? Maybe. Maybe sometimes. Probably not all the time. Rarely, actually. And here is why each of us must answer the question.
Happiness, that state of measurable elation, ease of emotion, and feel-goodness, has to do with circumstance, things which take place outside of us or our control largely. When things are going our way, we are happy. When the sales never stop, the kids always obey, the love life is spectacular, fun is unending, the body is strong, and everyone likes us (or at lest the right people)…we are HAPPY:)) Who does not want those things, right? In and of themselves, they are not bad, obviously.
Significance is another thing all together. This is the option which deals with something beyond circumstance or happy situations. Significance is not situationally dependent, rather, its based upon meaning and a sense of contentment and direction amidst all of life’s realities. A person may have good experiences or bad experience, even profoundly tragic experiences, and yet still have significance and purpose. This is the state of mind that understands and embraces that life is bigger than events we like or desire, events which make us “happy”. Life can actually take on a more profound sense of purpose apart from the preferred situations we seek.
The happy person, by the definition given here, must have situations go well for them in order to maintain that sense of elated and measurable feel-goodness. The person living for significance and purpose, however, even amidst the terrors of life, can yet thrive internally. The hedonistic pleasure seekers who dominate so much of our popular society and attract so much of our appreciation, may be well paid, well maintained, well pampered, and well connected, yet too few actually have a sense of significance and contentment if the papers and reports (and self testimonies), and obvious life realities are correct.
Significance seekers, living for something beyond the next “good” time, can, like the German theologian and pastor Deitrich Bonhoeffer, who was thrown into prison and ultimately killed for his biblical stand and fight against Hitler, experience a profound sense of purpose, rest, and passion for life, even in the face of demonic evil and horrifying circumstance. Those living for a higher calling can go to the grave proclaiming, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is GAIN”. Such assurance of a bigger life beyond the grave, sustained by an intimate relationship with God on this side of the veil, offers something happiness never can.
It is too true that many who spend their lives looking, desperately, for happiness, often wind up bankrupt of soul. They tend to destroy themselves emotionally, relationally, physically, and spiritually. The list is, sadly, all too long. Some examples serve us well however.
You may know of the following woman, who like many modern women today, looked for happiness in all the wrong places. She was beautiful, dressed to kill (or to attract), she was sultry, the definition of “sexy”, she was wealthy, famous, in and out of relationships, and bed, with the most desirable of men, she was heralded a star, her fame was beyond all her contemporaries, …AND, she died at the behest of her own hand, miserable, lonely, depressed, broken, empty. Marilyn Monroe, who seemingly had all the “happiness” many crave and aspire to, died an ugly death, one not too different from Anna Nicole Smith and so many other “stars”. Like the flaming shooting stars which dot the western skies on a coal black night, people who live for the lights of our world catch the eye for a moment and then are burned up into oblivion before anyone can really see exactly what or who they are.
You may also know the following man. He, a billionaire, a man who had politicians in the palm of his hand, a captain of industry, a playboy, a world player, a controller of his own destiny, a world traveler, a collector of trophy dates galore, and the man who could stop a room when he entered it on his reputation alone. Howard Hughes, the image of success, the aviation mogul, died, alone, addicted, empty handed, insane by any legitimate standard, unkept, hideous, and in torment of soul. His life ended in disaster. He was an empty crazed wreck despite having all a man could acquire. All the happy perks, amassed at a dizzying pace, left him, like Monroe, utterly UNhappy, and without any sense of significance.
In a world most accurately defined by change above all, we must have something more than more happy happenings. Good, bad, and all points in between will come and go continually from here to the grave. People close to us will not meet our ultimate needs, kids will disappoint us, spouses will betray us, money will come and go, jobs will be won and lost, health will be tenuous, houses will be knocked over by storms (physically, financially or otherwise)…stuff changes, things happen. It must be more than “happy” we seek if we are to have a deep sense of meaning and significance along the journey.
Deitrich Bonhoeffer, brilliant as he was, and well-connected, as his family was, could have taken many routes to success in his life. The bright young German who attained a PHD in his early 20’s could have taken professorship, tenure, residence in the United States, and many other happy pursuits. His father was the foremost psychological mind in Germany, his mother came from aristocracy and was brilliant in her own right, one brother was an imminent attorney with political connections, and another brother a physicist of world renown. Talk about the makings of the highway paved to happiness! He could do whatever he wanted. And he did. But not like most.
Deithrich, constrained by grip of God, forsook all the avenues of ease, and placed himself front and center in the fight against the demonic onslaught of Hitler and his legion. Following God first into ministry, and fighting the attempts of the Hitler regime to deceive the Christian public of Germany by co-opting the church into the Third Reich, Bonhoeffer eventually went on to lead a revolution in the German church, protecting her from the waves of diabolical danger as Hitler sought to make himself a god of the German people. Eventually, compelled that God called him to action, Bonhoeffer accepted a role in one of the many attempts to assassinate Hitler. Close as they may have gotten, they did not succeed, and Bonhoeffer was eventually killed by the Reich for his efforts on behalf of his country. All those who knew him along the way spoke of how gracefully and powerfully he confronted death, extended compassion to others, championed truth, and walked in intimacy with God. His writings have now reached millions around the world and have been translated into numerous languages. He is a super-hero amongst modern Christ followers.
Ease, happiness, good circumstances, these Deitrich did not have. Living his last days in prison, separated from family, hearing reports of the death of friends and family at the hands of the Reich leaders, and separated from his new fiance, Deitrich, yet, lived a life of utter significance and purpose. His writings from prison, like those of the apostle Paul’s, speak of the ability of God to bring forth joy and contentment amidst the most difficult of circumstances.
It all comes down to the pursuit of the will of God, as Deitrich suggests. The will of God, above all else in life, and a full pursuit of living fully for God’s will for us, no matter what circumstances that places us in, is the the only thing which will or can provide for a life of significance. The will of God equals significance.
Nothing has ever taken its place, nothing else can ever fulfill the human heart, nothing else can make us truly happy deep within. As Bonheoffer has suggested, the question is not, “What will make me happy?”, but rather, “What is the will of God?” The latter question, answered for you, will set you up for a life bigger and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible. Really.
Bruce Smith
optimuslife.org
soulstormsite.com