I Quit. A devotional reflection for the weary // blog.optimuschoice.com

Another round, here we go,

The dreams, all of them,

Fading like warming snow,

I aspire, I climb, I scratch, I claw,

It seems to matter not,

My heart is freezing over now, 

I fear it will never thaw,

Is good really worth the fight?

Do you not see, I’m wandering in the night?

Goodness has always been the only aim,

I’ve denied myself, I’ve endured all the pain,

Its all been for the goal, a better way,

Now, again, here we go,

Just another long and weary day,

Press on!, they say,

Never die! they cry,

We’ll, now its me, the strong one,

Who embraces Paul’s aspiration to die,

Ever the dreamer, never the groom,

Where’s the dream weaver?

I’m about to walk out the room.

I keep hearing about the soul’s banquet,

Its the dream I’ve always tried to hit,

Now I’ve got to be honest, Father, 

I’m about ready to quit.

If you are there, and in you is my good,

I’m asking you, here and now, 

Let me know I’m understood.

This dream, and that one, and another too,

Its all unwinding, and clearly, 

I’m lost and know not what to do.

I’ve given my best, pursued the Call,

I’m wandering now, down a dark and lonely hall,

The clock is ticking, while I toss and ever wake,

The sands are dwindling, and I’ve no idea what it will take.

So here I stand, or kneel, or lay, or sway,

What’s it going to take, for you to have your way?

The storm, its been nearing, 

Far too long in my mind’s eye,

The torrent seems impending,

You save me, or I else I die.

There’s little else I can do,

Surely you know this to be true,

I’m done, weary, tired,

I’ve long told myself all I need is you.

My time, my effort, my resolve is critically wounded,

I’m, done, I quit, I retire,

If you are there, any future is up to you.

I quit.

Do you?

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

soulstormsite.com