9. May 2008 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

I am facing a situation that is overwhelming.  I am not sure how I got to this place, not sure why, and I am certainly not sure what purpose there is in this debacle I am in.  I have thought about it, talked about it, cried about it, gotten angry about it, and at times have just tried to ignore it because I am so exhausted.  I cannot see this working out to my advantage and I am left wondering where God is in all of this.  Can you offer me some advice?

Dave

Dave,

As the saying goes, “If I had a dime…” I would, indeed, be a rich man.  Your situation, while it may feel unique in terms of the details, is really quite common.  All of us, at one point or another, in one way or another, face similar situations.  For some its relational, for others physical, for others its financial, and for others its professional or something else.

While it may not be good news to know that many others are in the same boat, it should at least remind you of the fact that challenge and life are inseparable.  This is important because our first inclination, when facing big issues, is to run for cover, pray for a quick fix, and hope for comfort and ease.  What we need to realize in moments such as the one you are facing is that God is aware, and more than that, actively working in, with, and through your situation.  In fact, in retrospect, we often look back and realize that what was first perceived as a sure dead end, turned out to be a moment of opportunity for growth.

This brings me to our third installment for the week in terms of our focus on Favorite Things about God.  Your situation is one which highlights one of the fantastic realities of faith.  God is in the odds beating business.  Throughout scripture, time and again, we see stories of men and women of faith who were down and out on luck, underdogs in a great fight, and at a total loss for a situational fix.  But God…

David faced an armor wearing, rage prone, fearless, weapon toting giant as tall or taller than the most freakishly large NBA player.  He was a much smaller guy, and was armed with the less than all powerful sling shot.  But he came to the fight in confidence that the God who had intervened on his behalf in the past would do it again.  Clearly the underdog, David walked into the arena of battle and faced an overwhelming demonstration of power, strength, and terror.  At the end of the day, David stood victorious and His view of God had been enlarged.

Likewise, amidst the battlefields of our lives, we too are offered the all conquering power of God regardless of what we face.  Even as everyone around you is betting the farm on your demise amidst your current fight, you can stand firm in the hope and promise that God can and will carry the day as you follow Him into battle.  As followers of God, we have no need to fear any man, woman, or enemy.  There is no opponent, physical, mental, emotional, financial, or otherwise, which matches the ability of God.

What we must focus on in times of great difficulty is God’s desire to demonstrate to everyone looking in that He is the One who carries the day.  God often places us in situations or allows situations to develop in our lives which will leave us with no other option but to rely upon Him.  It is in those moments, when all the bets are being placed against us, that we must go “all in” and bet the farm on Him.

So, the answer to your dilemma, and the favorite thing for the day are one in the same.  As followers of Christ, we must hang our faith hat on God’s ability to carry the day amidst all odds.  One of my favorite things about Him is that He desires to show Himself true amidst the most hopeless of situations.  The ability to walk through the wilderness of life with the knowledge that the journey with God is still intact is an amazing source of hope and strength.

Regardless of the nature of your struggle you can take heart knowing that God does His best work when the odds are stacked against His people.  This theme, this favorite thing, is demonstrated in scripture from beginning to end.  Do not trust in your ability to manipulate, fix, or scheme your way out of this one.  Do not attempt to match blow for blow against a superior foe.  Allow God to lead you into the battle and rely on His principles of warfare, and watch Him carry the day as He fights for you, protects you, and leads you on to victory.  His strategy may look much different from the ones offered to you by others, but you must trust Him.  His weapons may not look familiar to the worldly mind.  And His call to you may nudge you in unexpected directions.  In the midst of your present situation be careful to sense where He may be leading you, and be open to a new direction.  It may be that He is bringing you an entirely different focus for your life at this time.  Enormous difficulties often become glorious opportunities to experience, know, and follow God in new ways.

In the fight with you,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org (please donate at optimuslife.org by clicking on the “donate” button)

Posted in Dear Bruce | No Comments »

14. March 2008 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

As a believer, I have been through a lot in my life.  Just when I think I passed one big test and can now take a breather, another one comes along.  Actually, it seems like the tests get bigger over time.  Each time I think I have mastered the whole trusting God thing, I fall short again.  Does the testing ever end?  Do I ever get to coast for a while?  Right now I am facing the biggest test of my life, and I am not sure I have the strength, desire or determination to win this one.  Help!

Lee Ann

Lee Ann,

We ALL find ourselves there.  Even the great Patriarchs of faith endured this reality.

Earlier in the week I wrote regarding those situations in life life that tend to turn us into theological pessimists.  The recurring reality of our own failures, the brutality of others, and the often cruel realities of life can all lead us to a place of bitter and questioning laughter.  As we saw in the story of Abraham and Sarah, however, we can take heart in the truth that God is able to accomplish that which we never could on our own.  Just as God, when Sarah and Abe were beyond the “season of pleasure” (that’s the Biblical term), promised, and delivered (pun intended) a child (Isaac) to them, He is still able, amidst our cynicism and doubt, to bring about good in our lives when all seems lost.

One would think that after testing the faith and belief of Abraham and Sarah with the promise of a son during a season in life which made such a promise ridiculous from a human standpoint that God would give them a break and all would be smooth sailing from there on, right?  After all, the gig was almost up for those old folks.  In fact, when you look closely at the promise made to them, Isaac was the one through whom an entire people, a nation, would arise.  The real shocker in this story is that after God sees to it that the son is born (despite Abe and Sarah laughing in His face), something more ridiculous is requested of them.

The testing of faith was not done by any stretch for Abe and Sarah, and it was just beginning for the new son.  That very son, given at a time when Sarah’s womb was shut down for good and Abe had no access to Viagra, and the one through whom a historic lineage was to flow through, was to be put upon the chopping block of sacrifice.   God commanded Abraham to do the unthinkable.

The act requested is enough on its own merit to garner utter astonishment.  Taking the life of one’s own son is no laughing matter, to be sure.  Such a request would strike horror, confusion, and misery in the heart of anyone, even the most faith filled follower of God.  What was once cynical laughter had been turned into profoundly joyful laughter upon the birth of this little guy, and now that joyous laughter was being transformed into a cry so deep we cannot comprehend it.  What is staggering about the request, beyond the father/son realities is that God is actually requesting that Abraham slaughter the promise of God to bring an entire people from this son.  He is asking the Patriarch to kill an entire nation with the thrust of a knife, and the kindling of a fire.

Abraham had to be thinking, “O.K., let me get this straight.  God gave me a son when humanly speaking it could not happen.  He told me that the son was born in order than a nation might be born through him.  Now, He is telling me to kill my son and thereby destroy the hope for the nation He promised.  Am I missing something?”

Can you imagine the mental gymnastics that must have been going on here inside this father of faith?  Yet, God said, in a nutshell, “Trust me.”  God was testing Abraham.  But through His test of Abraham He was testing and preparing Isaac (he would no doubt reflect on this one the rest of his life if he survived) for a life of faith and for the leadership of a people.  Moreover, God was preparing one of the most seminal moments in the history of people of faith, knowing full well that for the remainder of history followers of The Way would look upon this moment with awe.

What Abraham needed to know, and what we need to know today amidst all of our tests, is that God provided a way in the past, and He is able and willing to provide a way now and in the future.  The miracle of Isaac’s birth had to have been the difference maker which inspired Abe to make the trek to the altar of sacrifice with his son of promise.  Remember, God had asked Abraham amidst his laughter, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”  Isaac’s birth answered that question in profound ways.  The victories God has brought into our lives in the past are to be the benchmarks which provide us with faith for the now and for the future.  Each test builds upon the other and are to make us into the people God wants us to be.  At each juncture of testing the question comes anew, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”

There are no moments in which we just put the theological gas pedal on cruise control.  We were created to experience Him in ever increasing ways.  We were designed to live life to the full.  You can’t do that on cruise control.  Mediocrity leads to boredom, emotional fatigue, and life without passion.  We were made for something much more grand than that.

Just as God provided for Abraham and Isaac (in the last moment possible, thereby testing their faith to the limit) upon that altar, so likewise, He will provide for you in the moment of testing.  Even in those moments when it appears the very dreams of God for your life are dying (I have been there)…He is there, and He is at work.  You may not see it, feel it, or want it…  BUT GOD.  When the test is through, you and many around you will stand in awe at the power of God and His ability to work wonders.  It is with this thought and promise in mind that we are able to laugh through the darkness of testing.

Bruce Smith

Optimuslife.org    (to donate click on the “donation” link at optimuslife.org)

Posted in Dear Bruce | No Comments »

28. December 2007 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

I am single, middle-aged, fairly attractive, a committed Christian, and am hoping to be married some day.  I find myself all over the map in terms of what I am attracted to, and wonder how much practical thinking vs. spiritual thinking should go into the process of finding a mate.  I want to be with someone who is good for me and who God approves of, but I am not sure how I go about finding that.  How does a vibrant Christian person go about this “dating game?”

Thanks for your reply in advance,

A

Dear A,

The “dating game” you refer to can indeed be a bit challenging.  The focus for you, or anyone who is a committed Christian, should be upon building relationships with a solid spiritual foundation.  Notice I said “relationships” plural.  The reason I start here along with the encouragement to build upon common spiritual grounds is simple–you cannot know for sure, what kind of person you are, by God’s design, most compatible with.  That is to say, while you may have an idea of the type of person you are looking for, it is possible that someone with a little different twist may come along and you will be pleasantly surprised.  Compatibility, in my view, is a very critical factor, but you don’t always know ahead of time just what you are really compatible with.  So, spend time with a number of different people, building friendships, and allow that “spark” to be quickened naturally over time, and see where it leads.  Don’t go into each new relational interaction thinking “Is this the one I will marry?”  Sometimes a friendship is the best fit for two people.  That being said, when the “spark” ignites, built upon God’s principles for relationship building, then jump in and see where it might take the two of you.

Let’s assume, for the moment, that you are absolutely convinced of the need to be “matched” spiritually speaking, with this foundation in place (a non-negotiable) then you need to think through some practical realities.  You should be inclined pursue others with common interests.  Do you both like the arts, outdoors, sports, reading, travel, etc.  A high level of common likes and/or dislikes in these areas will provide for a setting in which you can enjoy each other as you enjoy life.  Further, you should be aware of personality issues.  While you should not be looking for your twin in the opposite sex, you do have a better chance, in my view, of a long-lasting relationship with someone who has a personality that blends well with yours.  Look for good “fits” but not a copy of yourself.  The nuances in personality ought to lead to some sort of relational chemistry.  You should really enjoy one another’s company.

Beyond common spiritual pursuits, common interests, and personalities that mesh well, I think you both need to be headed toward the same overarching goals in life.  Are you both on the same page in terms of education, curiosity about life, financial goals, and family issues?  Do you both have similar views on lifestyle choices?  Do you both have common ideas about the kind of place you would like to live?  Do you both like to put down roots, or do you both like to see the world and hop around a bit over the years?

With the spiritual focus in tune, and some of the other issues I brought up, in alignment, spend time growing and developing as a God leads.  Pursue friendship where it is appropriate, and allow God to “spark” your interest where something more might potentially develop.  Don’t fear the process, and don’t settle for less than God intends.  Be open to surprising twists of “fate”, and realize we do play a role in choosing.  God is more than likely not going to send you a companion sealed up in a FedEx box.  Get out there, meet people, build interesting relationships, and offer God’s best to others.  Ask yourself regularly, “Am I the kind of person, by God’s grace, that others would/should be drawn to?”  Building ourselves, and becoming what God calls us to be is the first factor in “finding” a great match.

Much Love,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

Posted in Dear Bruce | No Comments »

21. December 2007 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

What is the deal with boundaries, rules, guidelines? And what about the “sin” stuff? Why is it so important that we focus on this stuff all the time? I just kinda live my life from day to day, try not to really harm anyone, and hope for the best. Is this not good enough?

I look forward to your reply,

Sam

Sam,

Great questions, really! I understand the perspective you have, as most of us tend to want to live that way. We like the sense of comfort (emotional, psychological) that we assume a “cruise control” approach offers. The difficulty is that life is always a bit more complex and it does not take very long before we have to put our hands on the wheel and our foot on the brake. Actually, you hint at this in your own question when you refer to the desire not to “harm” anyone. I will explain.

The idea of “harming”, on its own, must recognized as a moral category. This is obvious with just a little thought. To view an action as having the potential to “harm” is to suppose, morally speaking, that some standard, measurable moral law can be violated. Otherwise, any and every action is merely an action with no ability to harm or “disharm”, if I can invent a word.

What I am getting at is the reality we rarely think about, but upon which we all operate daily, actually moment by moment. We make decisions about everything we do based on some standard of measurement. If we work retail, we give a certain amount of change back to a customer. We either give them too much change, just the right amount, or we short-change them. However we slice it, a standard of reality is in play. This is true of all activity and all actions in our lives. In grade school, high school, and in the university, we measure our standard of accuracy/reality with tests. Those tests have right and wrong answers. We receive a score based upon our ability to “get it right”. 2 + 2= 4 always. Any other answer is wrong, always.

This idea of objective truth exists spiritually speaking as well. In fact, unless there is a standard of truth beyond our physical world, why would we expect to see standards of measurable reality to any extent in this world. Would all not be total chaos? If we follow this line of thinking we are ultimately brought to the reality of an absolute being beyond ourselves. If such an absolute exists, it would seem to make sense that this being would know all, even that which is, in reality, best for us.

This is the reason for the focus upon sin, truth, boundaries, and reality. This is the foundation for Optimuslife.org because our contention is that we find the life we were meant to live only as we know this being beyond ourselves, and walk in relationship with Him, learning and doing that which He assures us is for our good. That being said, I must remind you that we never suggest that we can earn or merit, by our good or right behavior, a proper standing before God. None of us can get it all right all the time. And because God is perfect, our getting it wrong leaves us with a gap between us and God. This is where grace, as revealed in the person of Jesus, comes in. The focus always remains on God’s active pursuit of us and His ability to offer us life as it ought to be even as we get it wrong so often.

Now, some practical reality. While your idea sounds good at first, it clearly breaks down. We all know that our actions do affect others. Those who would suggest, “Hey, leave me alone, its my life. I am not hurting anyone.”, are not operating in reality. Take fibbing for an example. Even if one thinks a simple lie may not be harming anyone, reality offers a different perspective. Even if one gets away with most of the lies, others are hurt. More practically, once people begin to see that our stories are not always accurate they begin to trust us less. Less trust between people results in a breakdown in relationship. Bottom line, relationships are harmed, people are harmed.

We could plug in any type of moral issue here and the reality would be the same. If we have no basis of measurement, no standard of absolute truth, then we, as a human people, cannot hope to keep from harming one another. This is true of sex, parent/child relationships, business practices, art, entertainment, romance, friendship, nation building, … Without a sense that an absolute being created us, loves us, and actually directs us in matters of conduct, we have no hope for anything but moral and relational chaos. For if one person believes in the value of gratuitous murder and another does not, how do we determine “harm” if left without a standard of truth? If one culture enjoys cannibalism and another not so much, who is right? If one culture sees no problem with prostitution, even child prostitution, and another cannot fathom the idea of such a thing, how do we establish an absolute guideline? Who is right? Where does the line of “harm” fall in such situations? It must come from beyond ourselves, otherwise we could have over 6 billion varied ideas on what is right, harmful, or proper.

In an odd sort of way, this leads me to point you to the value of the Advent season. Advent, which celebrates the coming of Christ, God in the flesh, to our world, is all about God stepping into our human story to shout the reality that He offers us the proper lens through which we can see the world. In advent we see sin for what it is and truth for who and what it is. It would appear that God has a very sober view of sin, since He chose to intervene in such a dramatic way on our behalf.

Christmas is about the good news of absolute truth! Rather than view absolute truth as a restrictive moral straight jacket, it ought be viewed as the life giving, soul protecting, and joyous revelation of God to us, for our good. Sadly, this is the very message the masses tend to miss during this “holiday”. Amidst all the consumerism, vacations, parties, food, and drink, most tend to miss the staggering reality that what we celebrate is the unfathomable idea that the God of the universe sent a divine message to us in a tiny package over 2,000 years ago. This gift, the way to a life worth living and an eternity of unending joy, is the one we should most hunger for. The baby in the manger, ignored by the innkeepers, and ignored by so much of humanity, is the gift which ought to keep us up all night as we await our embrace of Life. He is Life. He is the definitive reality. He is the one who took our harm upon Himself, and set us free to live for Him and others.

That is the deal, embrace this Truth,
Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

Posted in Dear Bruce | No Comments »

7. December 2007 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

I have been seeing a man for a while who, now that we are engaged, I realize probably is not the kind of person God wants me to be with. He does not seem to have a relationship with God, has no Christian friends, and does not like it when I want to bring up spiritual issues. I have told him that we should call off the wedding, but I am confused as to how I should relate to him from this point on. Do I stay away all together? Is all of this terrible for my Christian “witness”? Why do I keep getting into relationships with men who clearly are not the kind of men God wants me to be in a relationship with? And how do I find the kind of person God wants me to be with?

Anonymous

Dear Reader,

There are a number of issues at play here, it seems to me. Let’s start with the foundation and build from there on this one. First, as you seem to know (at least intellectually), God does have a plan in mind for us as it pertains to relationships, dating, and marriage. Fundamentally, and as we have seen this week in the blogs on wholeness, we must come to a place where we are settled and at rest in the reality that God’s plans for us are much better than our own.

The reason we tend to get off track even when we “know” the truth is that our own bent desires tend to lead us. Like Milton’s “Satan” in Paradise Lost (see yesterday’s blog), we tend to view ourselves impaired or denied when what we want is not what God wants. We fail to remember that the one who created us knows exactly what is best for us. In God’s wisdom, it is clearly better for us to be in relationship with those who are like-minded spiritually. For a committed believer to be in a romantic relationship with a non-believer just makes no sense. The bible suggests that light and darkness don’t match. It is not a good fit. The foundation of romantic, and certainly marital relationships, must be a common faith and pursuit of God’s ways. If this is not in place disaster awaits.

This being said, I think you have made the right decision in calling off the wedding. God forbid, you just give it a go and “hope for the best”. Our best hopes in such a situation turn into a miserable state of affairs. In terms of relating to this individual from here on, I believe you will have to be sensitive to wisdom, practical realities, and the hopes you have for your future.

Does it hurt your “witness”? Well, its never a good thing, in terms of your impact, to walk out your faith in a way that is short of the standards God has made clear. Sadly, we all do this too often. So, accept that you missed the mark, let him and others know that you did just that, and then let him and others know that grace is the operative key reality of your life and that your intentions are to move forward with your future according to God’s plans. Assure people that you recognize your failure, have learned from it, and that you desire to walk out your faith as God has called you to do from this point on.

Wisdom, I believe, calls you to be loving and kind with this man while maintaining boundaries that are appropriate. Practically speaking, you cannot move forward assuming you will “win” him over to your faith perspective. We should not be in relationships where we are hoping to make the person something we want them to be. We ought to pursue and relate with those who are already compatible (though not perfect). Affirm your genuine concern for him and be a friend to him, provided it does not leave you open to temptations you know you will give in to. If you cannot remain just friends while being in contact with each other, then I suggest you take the necessary steps and limit your contact. Again, if you are not “equally yoked” and this man does not even like to engage in spiritual conversation, you are merely prolonging the frustration if you remain too close to it. Your “feelings” must be driven by biblical truth. Emotionally, we are prone to wander, so, make a commitment to allow God’s clear plan to drive you in the direction He has intended and over time feelings can be more in keeping with what God feels about things.

At this point in your life you need to focus your relational efforts in a direction that will take you where God’s future hopes for you are fulfilled. Spend time getting to know people, but do so with God standards in mind. We are called to be light in a dark world, and we are called to be in relationship with others (those inside and outside the church). Don’t fear interacting with other people. Yet, you must be realistic about your tendencies. If men in general are a battlefield for you, then take measures to ensure that you remain properly focused. If you are asked to consider a situation (lunch, dinner, other “date”-like scenarios) that would be attractive to you at first glance, then take time to ponder the spiritual compatibility level first and foremost. Then, assuming that is in place, proceed with wisdom and relax.

I do not think God is going to send you a Godly husband via express mail with a marriage certificate attached. Spend time getting to know people. Along the way, recognize that the most important factor in your “finding” the kind of person God has for you is for you to become the kind of person that an interesting and Godly man would desire. Allow God to make you what He has called you to be and you will have a greater likelihood of stumbling upon the kind of man you desire.

Lastly, in addressing your confession that you seem to wind up with men who are not the kind of person God has for you, let me offer a bit of encouragement for you to run to the most secure source of soul companionship. Until and unless you find yourself at rest in who God is and who He has called you to be, you have little hope in dealing with this issue. We tend to get into those patterns when we move away from God as our source for healing, protection, love, companionship, purpose, and fulfillment. No man will ever offer you ALL you are looking for. Only God quenches the deepest needs of our lives, and only God heals the deepest hurts. Go to Him as the source of your most profound love. He is the only perfect Lover of our souls. Once we rest in that truth, we are freed up to live and love as He intends. He desires that we be in relationship, but all relationships are secondary to our journey with Him.

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

Posted in Dear Bruce | 1 Comment »

30. November 2007 by BruceSmith.

Dear Bruce,

You previously wrote about the “Holiday of the Soul” in reference to C.S. Lewis’ quote. I think a lot about this, and continually wonder about how to get there living in the culture we live in. If I am to go on the Holiday by the Sea, how do I get from this island of
isolation I seem to find myself in, to the shore? Is there a bridge? You say it is to be authentic and share my heart. In my experience that isn’t enough. The world is full of predators that will snatch it from you so fast and try to mislead you, never mind your good intentions. Who will honor it? Who will be good and respectful and kind in response? Who can you trust? It must be some wonderful combination of authenticity and
boundaries and discernment, I guess. I want the holiday you write about as it relates to relationships, sex, marriage, and life in general. But isn’t enough to want to do the right thing, it seems to me. The wrong thing seems to happen anyway. I desire the “holiday of the soul” with all my heart, but my past, my experience, and my fears, cause me to doubt I will ever find it? At times I just want to say, “Forget it, I will do life alone”. I guess I don’t trust people, or myself, if I am honest. Do I just say, “To heck with it”, and plead grace when I mess up, or do I jump through all the spiritual rules and hoops the church gives me in order to earn the holiday? Is it all rules? Is it no rules? What?

Sincerely,

Elfie

Elfie,

I am convinced, perhaps naive, enough to believe that to the degree one is at rest in their relationship with God, and therefore at rest in their own skin, this “security” dictates the level of spiritual, emotional, and relational health with regard to the issues you bring up. This reality, I believe, applies to sex, relationships, integrity, and life in general. It comes down to knowing who you are/are not in relation to God and others.

The starting point is Isa. 6. Isaiah’s vision captures the essence of the whole deal (life before God, which includes relationships). In seeing God as He really is (Holy…tons of implications here), we see ourselves as we really are (uh, less than holy…again, lots of implications), we are undone (a tangible emotional, psychological, spiritual…and therefore relational awakening), fall on our face, and amazingly we find that God reaches down in grace, touches us, forgives us, redefines us, picks us up, places us in relationship to Him, and then fundamentally calls us to be in relationship with others. The catch is, at this moment all other relationships are redefined by our relationship with Him.

So, no matter who or what or where you are in life, the deal is the same…now relationships are defined as we live and move and have our being in Him, and we just know that relating to others means, compels us to look upon and live with others as He does.

No, indeed, rules never do it…that is the older brother syndrome…but neither does a “liberal” approach to sin/morality. We walk as He calls us because we walk, live, act before an audience of One. Who or what can even come close to offering me what the Lover of my soul can offer me? Really, no one, no thing.

So, the answer is not a fear of relating to or an abandoning of relationships completely, but rather a proper relating to others, even broken others. By God’s grace, and though tempted at times, this is what enables us to live the kind of life we are called to though greatly tempted to settle for mud pies as C.S. Lewis describes it. Why? No person or pleasure would ever be able to restore to me what would be snatched away in that moment of sin.

Make it your purpose to live as Christ calls you to live in each situation and though tempted to jump or abandon ship, you will find He gives the ability to moderate each challenge effectively.

Really, its about the Kingdom of God, living as though we truly are the City on a Hill. Forget them both (rule keeping and a liberal view of sin), neither hit the mark of the Holiday.

With regard to trust and protection. We know human nature and depravity. Yeah, not many, actually none, including yourself, can be always and completely trusted. Trust, all our trust is in His way being THE WAY. We can only trust that He has our best in mind, and then try to live trustworthy lives ourselves. Then as we fail, we don’t blame Him, we recognize we live up to our untrustworthiness and that He is faithful even when we are faithless. He forgives, restores, and gives us a restart. That is the message of the gospel. Its not about Christian perfection. Thank God. The tension between what He offers us and what we experience must be held and accepted, even as we draw a little closer to that place we seek every day. There in lies the drama, the life, the passion and purpose.

All this drams makes the game worth playing. But the game only unfolds within the lines He has drawn. In sport and in life the boundaries must be in place for the game to even make sense. Step outside the lines and bad things happen. Inside the boundaries of His plan and grace the excitement is found.

Keep at it, knowing Him, and pressing on toward the holiday,

Bruce Smith

optimuslife.org

Posted in Dear Bruce | No Comments »

9. November 2007 by BruceSmith.

Bloggers, welcome to the first issue of the Optimus “Dear Bruce” advice column! In the tradition of “Dear Abbey” and inspired by the recent movie, Dan in Real Life (go see it), each Friday I will feature a letter, request for advice, from some of you, and make a valiant effort at offering you good counsel on important life issues, events, and situations. If you have a burning question and need some input…this would be the time and place for you to tackle it. You can submit your letters at any time as a comment to a blog or send them to my email address at soulstormwriter@yahoo.com. Just indicate “Dear Bruce” as the subject, and who knows, your letter could wind up in the blogosphere (is that really a word?).

Enjoy the first issue as you read on.

Dear Bruce,

I would like your opinion on my situation. About a year ago I was offered a job that looked very good. I have lived in one town all my life, and was not sure about making a move to a new town with my wife and kids. After much prayer and many discussions with my wife and friends we decided the move would be a good one and the opportunity would be great professionally.

So, about a year ago, my wife, three kids and I picked up and moved to a new place to begin a new life. We love where we are and can’t imagine leaving for another place so soon, but the new job has fallen through. The company has experienced a downturn and I was one of the casualties. I knew the risks of going with a new company when I signed on, but thought the potential was so good that it made sense.

At this point in my life, with kids in high school, and little clarity on where to go now, I am wondering how I should approach this challenge. Do I look for work somewhere else, or do I restrict my search to our new town?

The other thing you should know is that for many years I have not been content with my career. I have made good money, and our family has enjoyed many benefits. Yet, I have been unfulfilled, and have dreamed of doing something else that makes my heart beat. I am not so sure I want to continue in the career path I have been in for the last ten years, but I know that I will have a secure income if I do. What do I do?

Sincerely,

 Aloha

______________________________________________________________

Aloha,

You have a number of issues at play in your situation. First, I applaud you for making a courageous move and taking a risk in order to build for your future. You took a shot at something outside your comfort zone, and that is more than most would do. Well done.

It seems like you knew the risks going into your move and you were willing to take those risks. Risk presents us with the potential for great reward, but also opens the door for setbacks. I believe in taking calculated risks, and stepping out in the direction of one’s passion. Anyone who finds the kind of life worth living must take risks. Mediocrity, while comfortable, never leaves us fulfilled.

In your situation I think it would not make sense to uproot your family again with kids in high school. My guess is that they are just getting comfortable with the recent move and are beginning to make connections with friends, activities, and various relational networks. I would try your best to remain where you. I also suspect that your wife would not be so thrilled with another move so soon either.

If I were in your shoes I would do everything I could to use this time to find my passion. Sit down and write out a top five list of things you are passionate about. Then force yourself to rank those top five. Once you have done this consider what life would look like if you could pursue the top two or three passions on a daily basis. How would pursuing your passions affect you emotionally, spiritually, and financially? Then weigh the risks. If you are significantly more “ignited” when you consider following your passions than you are when you consider remaining on the same career path (which does not seem to fit your passions) then you ought to strongly consider taking the leap in a new direction.

Practically, you need to consider the financial part of it, and you need to know that your wife is behind you taking that step toward a new path. If your passions, and your financial considerations, and the support of your wife all line up—GO FOR IT. You will, no doubt, need some time to study, educate, and strategize your plan, so make sure there is a financial net in place to cover this time. Then begin to network and build every relationship you can with those who are carrying out similar visions. Along the way keep an eye out for those who God may be bringing your way to team up with you in your new venture.

Remember, living life to full is about finding God’s plan for your future and then running to it and thriving in it. No career path, regardless of the financial rewards, will ever replace the feeling of knowing you are doing what you were created to do.

Go get ‘em,

Bruce Smith

Optimuslife.org

Posted in Dear Bruce | 1 Comment »